Hits the mark!
On 10/25/06, Jennifer Compton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> poetics! excellent!
> ----Original Message Follows----
> From: kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]>
> Reply-To: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
> poetics <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Snap - 25/10
> Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:03:34 +0300
> Caleb. I'm speechless.
> no, not really. ;)
> this is the way rhyming should be done. I rarely rhyme; not because I'm
> unable, I think it's more a sort of trauma left over from the classicist
> drivel that's considered the best of the best, where endrhymes are a
> of propriety & schematic. but this is precisely how I'd want to bring
> an eased & controlled tone through endrhyme: it's a combination, as it
> always is, of the rhythm & the imagery, which are really the meat of any
> rhyme scheme. the scheme is just a frame (which I think is the reason I
> can't stand a lot of 1800s english poetry; there's little meat, just frame
> upon frame, custom upon custom).
> what Imagery is to me is the combination of the image & of the language
> itself; ok imagery might evoke an original image, but be unremarkable to
> point of being noticably so. GREAT imagery melds the two ingredients,
> exactly as you've done here. "the wagtail builds a cup of mud" is pretty
> much a flawless line. the almost imperceptible iambic tetrameter; the
> specificity of 'wagtail' instead of 'bird'; the poetic personification in
> the wagtail 'building' something; the assonance in 'cup of mud', and the
> mildly folkloric decadence in the very concept of a cup made of mud (or of
> mud being in the shape of a cup). these are all compressed beautifully
> a minimalistic & aurally pleasing line.
> 'loveless dam' also catches the eye especially.
> there are gems all throughout: "The spider spins her broody sac", "hanging
> in the sun to harden", the whole last stanza.
> in terms of theme, this is also startling & poignant.
> the wagtail builds a nest it defends, which seems 'honourable' (as far as
> animals can have honour) but is really dysfunctional & joyless.
> 'swordstrokes' gives the impression of finesse, but I envision the wagtail
> as frantic; it's only a small mention, not worth looking into necessarily
> because the stanza works so well.
> the spider, having snared victims all day, becomes herself a victim.
> the duck is the only one that seems innocent in a way, she acts in good
> faith and with good intention; but her lack of understanding ends in
> these can all be traced as archetypes of PEOPLE, which is where the 'Life
> lesson' comes in; these are warnings.
> I love nature poetry, and one reason is that, to self-centered humans, all
> our actions & inactions are mirrored in the animal & plant kingdoms; it
> makes for some powerful metaphorising. the other reason is that nature,
> ITSELF, is worthy of attention & pause & dramatising & minimising, and
> everything else that poetry can afford it.
> wonderful work Caleb.