Yes, I like the change a lot - but disagree with an earlier respondee
who liked the centipede image. I find it close to cliched, an
easily-said, obvious image not to the standard of originality and/or
accurate imagery of the rest of the poem around it.
And, Heather, when you wrote 'sisters' I thought it was used in a
feminist way, so was knocked-out to see you actually are 'playing'
with your sisters! Great. I can't imagine doing such a thing with any
of my family :-) Beautiful blogging! I'm a fan and will keep coming
back. Thanks ... Some of the photos are great, too.
Andrew
On 23/09/06, wild honey press <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Hi Heather,
>
> yes, I think that works much better.
>
> best
>
> Randolph
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Heather Taylor" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Friday, September 22, 2006 4:53 PM
> Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] Late snap : School Pitch
>
>
> > Hmm...yes - I understand what you mean...maybe I shouldve said - "until it
> > drops to fresh mowed earth" - that keeps the freshness then...
> >
> > H
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Douglas Barbour [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > Sent: 22 September 2006 15:46
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Late snap : School Pitch
> >
> > There's some nice realism here, Heather, but I found 'until it drops to
> > ground zero' took a sudden turn away from children, football, into an
> > allusive space not touched anywhere else in the poem. I'm not sure such
> > a phrase can be used 'innocently' any more....
> >
> > Doug
> > On 21-Sep-06, at 9:32 AM, Heather Taylor wrote:
> >
> >> School Pitch
> > Douglas Barbour
> > 11655 - 72 Avenue NW
> > Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
> > (780) 436 3320
> > http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
> >
> > Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
> > http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
> >
> > Where philosophy stops, poetry is impelled to begin. He was
> > a man, far away from home, biting his nails at destiny.
> >
> > Susan Howe
> >
> >
> > __________ NOD32 1.1768 (20060922) Information __________
> >
> > This message was checked by NOD32 antivirus system.
> > http://www.eset.com
> >
> >
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
http://www.bam.com.au/andrew
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