Thanks for all that Kasper
it probably does have some cliché in it, but I cant do as much as I
might want to about that. It was a snap, so done fairly quickly, but
the real reason is it's a word/line acrostic; the first word of every
line, if you read down, you will see is a line from 'Shine on You Crazy
Diamond,' in fact perhaps the best line in the song (for me anyway). So
the 'elegy' is for Syd Barrett, who died last week. I did try to bring
in some aspects of his life as reported to the sort poem. So I can't
change those words, & might be able, in future, if I think ti worth the
try, make some other changes, & your comments will be useful in such a
case.
I didn't want to name him in the poem, though, it's true....
Doug
On 14-Jul-06, at 9:34 AM, KS wrote:
> critique ahead.Douglas
Douglas Barbour
11655 - 72 Avenue NW
Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
(780) 436 3320
http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
Historical imagination gathers in the missing
Susan Howe
|