Sorry for the tardy response Douglas... travelling out west for a story
on sheep liver fluke, which is an interesting word arrangement in
itself.
Your are right - there is a passive voice throughout. That is my
striving for the objective sense. And it is too overpowering. Rather,
underpowering.
I'm trying to exercise, exorcise, some creaking habitual muscles by
writing (almost wrote wringing) through some older forms. Less, less,
less.
Reading and engaging much of Julia Kasdorf's work. Not easy to get hold
of many contemporary poetic works where I live. Or many works at all. At
present I rely on an ancient Norton anthology for American works to the
late 70's. And lost on the internet for the rest.
Thank you for reading the work - and your interest and feedback to the
list in general. It's most kind and instructive, inspiring one to keep
at work.
Cal
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Douglas Barbour
Sent: Thursday, 8 June 2006 12:33 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Snap - a game of marbles
Like Andrew, although for different reasons (reading about an Aussie
trad from here), I enjoyed the story, Caleb. But I noticed, too much in
that I did notice, the passive voice in so many of the sentences, &
wasn't sure it was necessary. Unless you really wanted that feel...?
Doug
On 6-Jun-06, at 10:02 PM, Caleb Cluff wrote:
> A game of marbles
Douglas Barbour
11655 - 72 Avenue NW
Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
(780) 436 3320
http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
Historical imagination gathers in the missing
Susan Howe
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