THE GOD THING
Especially if it happens late in life
you will be cut off
and it will hurt inwardly,
as much and for far longer,
as the suffering of a dismembered traitor,
truly as much if not more,
for now there is no knowledge
of time, of the coming blessed release.
It is the misery of illicit love,
of drinking enough to obliterate
the misery of illicit love,
only you will awaken and your misery
has been cheerlessly resurrected,
you are stuck with the bargain
that--Magic Word time--God
has forced upon you.
To have done this voluntarily
you must be thought quite mad,
mad to inhale the cannibal's banquet
of Real Presence,
the bread thing swiped from the Jew
you used to be,
and slurping blood as though
it's really capital-P Precious
but it still tastes like wine.
You will be glared at,
derided by the gods of Atheism,
family will shrug and say
you were always cracked anyway,
nothing was good enough for you.
Others will cite historical injustice
ask if you think the auto da fe was cool beans
to have with barbecued flesh.
And I know a few as well
but they're not mine and that's
not me, I will sit at table
with George Herbert and eat
because worth does not matter
only calling.
For Mary Karr
KTW/3-15-06
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