Hey surfaced from siest
May I vote for first version it seems warmer fuller/satisfying to this esp
last line-doolally pate P seasons greets P-feed cat
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Judy Prince
Sent: 18 December 2005 09:38
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: revised poem: Adjustments
thanks to Frank Parker's excellent suggestions to toss "ings" and other
bits, here's revised poem:
Adjustments
a light
in this inked passage
urges us ahead
past our
loose partitions
our torn histories
through yellowed halls
walls shrink
and stretch
our future
we match
patterned papers
dying colours
worn places
we hang mirrors
at every room end
face ourselves
in infinity
close space
turn time inside
search for hand
in hand
~~~~~
Judy Prince
18.12.05
Loughborough UK
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