Yeah, Tony, I think you get the descriptive fact fairly right, such as:
>Flock to rent old or ancient factory space
re-invented as cool lifestyles
away from parental values of sense.<
I'd worry a bit about the 'parental values of sense' phrase meself but I get
your drift. The way I see it is that your poem describes the takeover of
central Leicester by the new middle-class, something of which I am acutely
aware of. I think your poem needs a bit of rhythmical and linguistic
enlivening, but it's on the route there, matey. In a way it is a kind of
metaphor for what is happening in areas of public speech, the dead hands of
the bourgeoisie are invading everything, not only Iraq.
Best
Davo
David Bircumshaw
Spectare's Web, A Chide's Alphabet
& Painting Without Numbers
http://www.chidesalphabet.org.uk
----- Original Message -----
From: "Tony Banks" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, January 04, 2004 11:09 PM
Subject: A sunday morning thing
Dave
After reading yours:-
Old on the New-02
Young people, high flying
graduates of government systems.
Flock to rent old or ancient factory space
re-invented as cool lifestyles
away from parental values of sense.
Years of care and solid upbringing
dissolved in a University mixing pot
borderline deadlines ran off in a jot
torrid rain of pressure flicked away
given by tutors who do not care a lot.
Bundles of notes nicely packed
dated and timed for payment
fuelled by a preceding white paper.
Of another governmental plot
funded by apprenticed and unionised workers
given standards to not be forgot.
Plans of family striving to save
pensioned to the hilt on government advice
dissolving swiftly before their eyes.
just another government surprise.
Semper eadem. No bloody change! Or what!
Tee Bee :-(
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