Baghdad, 11 Febnruary 2003.
The Iraqi government announced today it had won international backing for 2
no-fly zones over the state of Great Britain. The Arab world is increasingly
worried over Britain's weapons of mass destruction, said to include atom
bombs as well as biological warfare agents at Porton Down. The northern
no-fly zone is north of latitude 55 deg North, and protects the region of
Skurt-istan, whose people rose in rebellion against the southern capital many
decades ago but were repressed with some force at Glen-Halabja-coe. The
southern no-fly zone is south of latitude 53 degrees north and protects the
Marsh people of the Thames Estuary, whose way of life had been drastically
altered, especially on the Isle of Dogs, by an influx of government agents
intent on 'moderrnising' the area. However Iraqi spy satellite photographs of
the Canary Wharf area show little of this new development has benefitted the
Thames marsh people but much is related to the oil industry.
However Baghdad emphatically denies that its real motive is British North Sea
Oil. "it's just a coincidence that the only state with weapons of mass
destruction we are acting against just happens to have oil too. How was I to
know Zimbabwe and North Korea don't have oil?" said Mr Hussein.
A so-called 'Third Tunnel' has been dug under the Thames marsh people's
lands, which will be used mainly by the wealthy, yet is underming their very
homes. Some of their garden regions have been replaced by barren concrete.
Baghdad asks is this an attempt to starve the marsh people out?
In fact neutral observers say a more subtle tactic to starve the Marsh people
out is in progress. All the local shops they buy food at are being closed as
'supermarkets', few of which locate anywhere near the marsh people, take over
the food trade. The few remaining local food shops are forced to raise their
prices to unrealistic levels unaffordable by the native people of the Isle of
Dogs.
A vast refugee camp has been built at 'Milton Keynes' for fleeing marsh
people, but the UN criticises the inhumane conditions there. "I can't stand
this place, I must leave now, there's simply nothing human about this place,
they keep people in these little concrete boxes in the baking hot sun" said a
visibly upset UN camp visitor. Far from their homeland, with no realistic way
of ever getting back, some have applied for asylum in Guantanamo Bay.
Baghdad stated that "it had no quarrel with the British people but wished to
remove a leader whom it said many British themselves considered undemocratic"
However Mr Hussein said it had little hope of Blair giving up his weapons of
mass-destruction and acknowledged that many "ordinary British" would be
killed if an invasion was necessary to advance the cause of world democracy.
Iraq hopes house-to-house fighting can be avoided, especially in the capital.
Iraqi commanders have discovered that even without missiles falling, it can
take many hours, even days, to get from the outer suburbs to the centre of
London. As a tactical measure, the Central Line will stay closed, and
gritters are banned from the M.11, ensuring no invasion force can get
anywhere at all in the Eastern Zone.
Blair meanwhile is playing for time, saying he will let New Arab Treaty
Organisation weapons inspectors in but is not saying where his weapons are.
Baghdad believes he will try and delay any invasion by Iraqis until the
winter, when he will be hoping some 2 inches of snow may fall on Britain, and
so reduce the transport system to total chaos and snarl up any invasion.
Hillary Shaw, School of Geography, University of Leeds, Leeds.
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