Irene,
My experience of "acceptance", if you can call it that, is that it is a
journey, best done in gentle forward motion. It does not happen in a
straight line, or directly, but is an indirect and back and forth sort of
process. I call it "the dance of acceptance" (in my case a hobble). What
this has meant is really giving thought to what it means to have quality of
life personally, and to have meaning and purpose. As I have looked for this,
I have trained my vision to find ways of fulfilling it in my own situation.
Looking back over a process that has taken 10 years that I can identify
(really a lifetime before that), when I see how far I have come, I cannot
even imagine what life would be like for me if I did not have the disability.
It is integrated into who I am to a large extent. This echoes what Laurence
has said, I believe. Does this mean I don't have days when I look at how
easily able-bodied people do things and my situation doesn't hit me in the
face? Absolutely not, but I can see this as part of the process and the
journey and allow for it.
If you are inclined, I might recommend to you some readings with an
existential flavor. Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning"; Rosemarie
Rizzo Parse's "The Human Becoming School of Thought", and a memoir by
Reynolds Price called "A Whole New Life." I have found these helpful
companions on the journey I am describing.
I have found the main thing is to do this in a gentle manner with yourself.
I have never seen acceptance to work by direct force.
Best wishes,
Sherry Kahn
Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, VA Medical Center, Manchester, NH, USA
PhD Student in Nursing, University of Massachusetts, Worcester/Amherst
In a message dated 2/10/02 12:23:29 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
>Whilst I agree for the most part with your posting,i.e, with regard to
>not grieving for the lost self. I am concerned about the aspect of just
>adapting and accepting ones "lot" (situation and circumstances), does it
>mean we have given up? This is where I am stuck!!!
>
>Irene
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