----- Original Message -----
From: "Douglas Barbour"
> I liked it too Årni, but take Randolph's point,. However, once you let the
> editor in you take over, there may be no stopping you. If (ha) it make
> sense to cut a bit, I'd go a wee bit farther, & cut the 2nd 'is' & the
> 'and'. But i like the sharp parallelism, its purity.
>
> Doug
Interesting. Though I like the hand / and rhyme, so simple and unobtrusive,
and the is / is suggests wing motion to my overheated mind.
best
Randolph
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