Candice
I think the problem Dave was getting to with the metrics of this
relates to the number of stresses per line which changes through
the poem. Going from lines of 4 stresses to a mixture of three and four
throws the rhythms for me. [see below] Alternate four and three stresses per
line is rhythmically easier to read, and a consistent four stresses per line
is also very acceptable, but changing the rhythm should be for a specific
purpose and is not consistent here IMHO
Like it though :o)
Roger.
On the Death of Dr. Robert Hatrack*
Condemned to Hall's delusive draft [4stresses]
As on we stand from day to day, [4stresses]
By open doors, as on a raft [4stresses]
Our social uses topped away. [4stresses]
Well-hung through many a varying year [4stresses]
See Hatrack to the grave aflap; [4stresses]
Officious, innocent, sincere, [4stresses]
For every chinless strap a strap. [4stresses]
Yet still he fills Fedora's brim, [4stresses]
Obscurely wood, and coarsely grain; [4stresses]
Nor lettered Mortarboard, full grim, [4stresses]
Thy pan of brainer could contain. [4stresses]
When fainting Coatrack called for aid [4stresses]
And Hooded Death prepared the saw, [4stresses]
His vigorous arms were all asplayed [4stresses]
To power of chain- with no gewgaw. [4stresses]
In Bowler's darkest cavern crowned, [4stresses]
His hat trick was pure cricket [3stresses]
Where hopeless Beanie twirled unknown [4stresses]
And lonely Derby rode no ticket. [4stresses]
No summons knocked at nearby door, [4stresses]
No umbrella took the stand, [4stresses]
When this stretch of two-by-four [4stresses]
Took every hat in hand. [3?stresses]
His virtues rose, their narrow round [4stresses]
Where hung the simple Cap; [3stresses]
And sure the Eternal Gasa bound [4stresses]
Sombreros, nevermind the gap. [4stresses]
Denuding day, fulfilling night [4stresses]
Of felt, cloth, fiberglass; [3stresses]
His frame was firm, his hooks were bright, [4stresses]
Though now his Chapeau's passed. [3stresses]
Then the finish of higher wood [4stresses]
Death reduced to Hutschachtel; [4stresses]
Broken up for firewood, [4stresses]
Hatrack went to hatrack's hell. [4stresses]
*Boswell wrote: "He was of a strange grotesque appearance, stiff and formal
in his manner, and seldom said a word while any chapelier was present."
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