Dear Felicity,
With 31 years of being the parents of an intellectualy disabled daughter
behind us, in our mid sixties and with no relief in sight, my wife and I are
two of the thousands of empirical examples of what you write about. Of
course we want the best for our daughter, of course we want an environment
where her physical, emotional and psychological needs are taken care of, one
that will survive us.
However, while government neglects its responsibility to and on behalf of
the community it represents, parents will continue toprovide the best
environment and quality of life they can to their sons and daughters, for as
long as they can and at the direct expense of their own.
As my friend Dianne observed: "why do we (parents) have to work so
incredibly hard for so little, and then have to be grateful as well?"
Amen to that. rgds John
----- Original Message -----
From: "Felicity Maddison" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2001 8:58 AM
Subject: response to Rosemary Pryor
Dear Rosemary,
Parents who have sons and daughters with an intellectual disability are most
likely to experience, due to the lack of supports available in the
community, a prolongation of, and continuance in, their intensive parenting
role well beyond the years generally accepted by the broader community. It
is the parents who are expected to provide support,physically,emotionally
and financially. They are very much stakeholders and
societal/governmentexpectation appears to be that if their offspring with a
disability has a child (with or without a disability) and cannot raise that
child unassisted that it is the family who would take up the reins on a
second involuntary term of intensive parenting. Parents know only too well
the difficulties experienced in raising a child with a disability. Most
parents want a better life for their children than they have had. So why
would they a) want to their son or daughter to replicate their experiences
particularly when their offspring's coping mechanisms may not be as finely
honed as their own and b) line themselves up for a perpetual double dose of
of intensive parenting. There can be virtue in selfishness.
Regards
felicity
________________End of message______________________
Archives and tools for the Disability-Research Discussion List
are now located at:
www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/disability-research.html
You can JOIN or LEAVE the list from this web page.
________________End of message______________________
Archives and tools for the Disability-Research Discussion List
are now located at:
www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/disability-research.html
You can JOIN or LEAVE the list from this web page.
|