Stop Press – Geopolitical Commentary inc. Ukania to aid
democratic transition in Amerijkanisatan.
UN and Western Powers denounce electoral corruption and
mismanagement. After nearly a decade of rule in which the rich
have grown wealthier and social inequalities widened amidst
unsustainable speculative development and its continued backing
of rouge states and terrorist movements around the world, the
country of Amerijkanistan held presidential elections this week.
Although both candidates were drawn from a tiny elite and spent
vast amounts of money extolling their virtues in the government
influenced and elite dominated media, no overall winner was
declared.
“The UN need to supervise elections in this emergent
democracy” said a spokesperson on the NNC World Cable
Network. Experts on Amerijkanistan recalled the history of violent
revolution, civil war and more recent political violence and
assassinations, resignations, impeachments, sexual scandals and
corruption in this little known, diverse and difficult to govern
country. “It has only recently emerged from years of political
polarization and turmoil” said a spokesman at the World Trade
Organization, and its long suffering people deserve our support.
“One side of the country declared results before voting had
finished in another part” he explained. Moreover, he went on to
spell out that the southern province of ‘Flowerlands’ is run by the
brother of one of presidential candidates, whose father had
previously ruled the entire country, having risen through his control
of the vast intelligence/security apparatus of the A.I.C. . “It is a
land where family connections, tribal allegiances and money seem
to count more than modern ideology” said the WTO official. He
went on to explain that the tribe of one of the Presidential
candidates come from a part of the country where secessionist
feelings have long run strong and that was only incorporated into
Amerijkanistan after a border war.
Experts on Amerijkanistan argue that the UN should go in, to run
education programs, disarm the population, deal with the
malnutrition and environmental problems caused by adherence to
a staple diet of cheese and burgers, democratize the police forces
and make them more representative of the tribal allegiances in the
land and above all, halt the programs for the further development
of weapons of mass destruction. “This country has used these
weapons in the past and often threatened to do so again. But with
our help, modernization, and a stress on human development, it
may have a more stable future and join the ranks of the civilized
international community” he said. On the positive side,
international investors felt that nothing much would change
whoever emerged victorious, although some fears have been
voiced that the turmoil could affect other “emerging markets” if
people start to get the idea that elections might really change
things.
Meanwhile, Amerijkanistan’s leading ally, the shabby empire of
Ukania, continues to refuse aid from the international community
for its dilapidated transport infrastructure (wrecked by years
when investment was diverted into dubious speculative schemes
and foreign adventures). And amidst the worst monsoon floods in
centuries, the Ukanian leadership declares that it will continue to
be unswervingly loyal to whichever President finally triumphs in
the fraught Amerijkanistani elections.
James Derrick Sidaway
School of Geography and Environmental Sciences
University of Birmingham
Edgbaston
Birmingham
B15 2TT
UK
Tel. 0121 414 6935
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