JiscMail Logo
Email discussion lists for the UK Education and Research communities

Help for HISTORY-CHILD-FAMILY Archives


HISTORY-CHILD-FAMILY Archives

HISTORY-CHILD-FAMILY Archives


HISTORY-CHILD-FAMILY@JISCMAIL.AC.UK


View:

Message:

[

First

|

Previous

|

Next

|

Last

]

By Topic:

[

First

|

Previous

|

Next

|

Last

]

By Author:

[

First

|

Previous

|

Next

|

Last

]

Font:

Proportional Font

LISTSERV Archives

LISTSERV Archives

HISTORY-CHILD-FAMILY Home

HISTORY-CHILD-FAMILY Home

HISTORY-CHILD-FAMILY  February 2000

HISTORY-CHILD-FAMILY February 2000

Options

Subscribe or Unsubscribe

Subscribe or Unsubscribe

Log In

Log In

Get Password

Get Password

Subject:

Beating Children

From:

[log in to unmask] (Lloyd deMause)

Reply-To:

[log in to unmask]

Date:

Mon, 7 Feb 2000 14:49:38 -0500

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (63 lines)

>From Alice Miller, psychoanalyst, researcher and author of nine books
concerning the influence of childhood on the adult's life and on society as a
whole

According to recent newspaper reports, the British Government is planning to
adopt in March 2000 a legislation that would forbid parents beating their
children with implements and on the head, but otherwise would allow smacking
and slapping them without any limits of age. This information urges me to
write you this letter because hitting children has serious political
consequences, although these consequences are rarely recognized.
At the dawn of the new millennium,  probably no one will claim that we should
maltreat or humiliate our children. But almost everybody still seems to
recommend spanking as an effective and harmless means of raising them. The
widely represented idea that you can "teach children the difference between
right and wrong" by spanking them is as old as our culture but is
nevertheless highly misleading, as new research proves. Hitting children is
always a humiliation and a practice of slavery. It is also educationally
ineffective because it induces fear - and nobody can learn an appropriate
behavior in a state of fear.
However, children learn from examples. Thus, when we spank them we teach them
exactly what we don't want to teach: we teach them violence, ignorance, and
hypocrisy. They learn quickly to do the same as we once did: first to submit
to the more powerful person, to obey out of fear, and to hide the pain of
being humiliated. Then, about 20 years later, they cover their own weakness
with violence, are unable to act peacefully, and maintain that  smacking
children is a right thing to do. They resist to all logical arguments by
calling them "coddling", and go on to spank their own children (or to hurt
themselves)  without a second's thought, without the slightest remorse. Their
effort not to feel the suffering of their own childhood  hinders them from
recognizing that spanking children in every age is a humiliation - unless a
new law that would clearly forbid parents to spank their children in any way
will open their eyes.
If you ask grownup people why they were spanked in their childhood they will
say something like: "I was a naughty boy or girl and drove my parents crazy,
they were really overloaded by the way I was". These people may rarely recall
any concrete incidents or constructive lessons because they were too scared
to learn them. But now, against any logical way of thinking, they expect to
teach their three-year-olds lessons by hitting them. Unfortunately, many
politicians succumb to this error. They do reject slavery in theory but they
still don't realize that children must absolutely be protected by law.
Our parents and grandparents are not to blame for having  passed on to us
misleading  messages  because, at that time, they had no better information
to their disposal. But we do have them today. We can't claim innocence when
the next generation blames us for having rejected information that was
available to us and was easy to understand. Parents of today can no longer
claim the unlimited freedom to be ignorant nor can a responsible  government
do it. It must take into account the most recent scientific discoveries.
Damages in the brain structure of beaten children can already be seen on the
screens of computers.
Violence to children produces a violent and ill society. True authority
dismisses humiliation. Its discipline is based on listening and talking, on
trust, respect and protection of the weaker. It gives children the assistance
they need to become responsible adults who will not turn to vengeful actions
like wars and dictatorships because they will simply return to others what
they once received and what they learned by example: protection and respect.

Alice Miller, Virago Press, London, February 2000




%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Top of Message | Previous Page | Permalink

JiscMail Tools


RSS Feeds and Sharing


Advanced Options


Archives

March 2024
January 2024
December 2023
October 2023
September 2023
August 2023
July 2023
June 2023
August 2022
January 2022
December 2021
November 2021
September 2021
June 2021
April 2021
March 2021
January 2021
November 2020
October 2020
June 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
October 2019
September 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
July 2018
October 2017
July 2017
March 2017
January 2017
December 2016
October 2016
August 2016
July 2016
May 2016
February 2016
November 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
March 2015
January 2015
December 2014
October 2014
May 2014
April 2014
February 2014
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
November 2012
September 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
March 2012
January 2012
November 2011
October 2011
August 2011
June 2011
May 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
June 2010
April 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
July 2009
April 2009
February 2009
January 2009
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
August 2007
April 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
May 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
September 2005
August 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
March 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
May 2002
February 2002
January 2002
November 2001
October 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
February 2001
January 2001
December 2000
November 2000
October 2000
September 2000
August 2000
July 2000
June 2000
May 2000
April 2000
March 2000
February 2000
January 2000
November 1999
October 1999
September 1999
August 1999
July 1999
June 1999
May 1999
April 1999
March 1999
February 1999
January 1999
December 1998
November 1998
October 1998
September 1998


JiscMail is a Jisc service.

View our service policies at https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/policyandsecurity/ and Jisc's privacy policy at https://www.jisc.ac.uk/website/privacy-notice

For help and support help@jisc.ac.uk

Secured by F-Secure Anti-Virus CataList Email List Search Powered by the LISTSERV Email List Manager