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John Homan wrote:

> Thanks Judy,
>
> there is an old saying that friends come and go, but enemies are forever.
>
> Adapting this to our lives: therapists and social workers come and go, only
> write their phone numbers in the teledex in pencil, but
> parents/families/carers are here forever, or until they drop dead (whatever
> happens first) When the chips are down we are their advocates, their
> strength, and life support; day in year out. We are also a vastly exploited
> resource, inhibited from fighting back dirty because we love our children,
> and are apalled by the idea of making spectacle out of what is a tragedy.
>

I'll refrain for analyzing the quip about your life being a tragedy because of
someone else's existence.

However, John, to point out what should be fairly obvious and not to critique
your personal situation, your comment suggests that ALL parents/families/carers
are, as you believe yourself to be -- an advocate, strength, life support.
Considering some fairly recent studies done by, I believe, Berkeley -- over
half of Disabled adults who grew up with a disability reported having been
physically and or sexually abused as a child by a parent, family member or
carer (not to mention the numbers of Disabled children who are killed by their
parents, family members, and carers before they reach adulthood -- Drake), I
think it is fair to say that at least some of the people who believe themselves
to be advocates, strength and life support for their Disabled child are abusers
as well.

To adapt the saying, "friends come and go, but enemies are forever:"  For some,
the adaptation is quite easy -- the parents/families/carers are the "enemies"
and they are, unfortunately, forever.

--
Carolyn
check out, "Passing, Invisibility and Other Psychotic Stuff" at
http://www.tell-us-your-story.com/_disc68r/00000003.htm
Add your story
at http://www.tell-us-your-story.com
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