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At 09:58 AM 2/6/99 +1100, you wrote: Homan and list I must agree with much you say. I had the pleasure of researching the experience of mothers of people with intellectual disabilities for my MA. Called "Constrained by Care: leisure opportunities for mothers of people with intellectual disabilities". I have developed the data from the in depth interviews into a soliloquy which has been recorded onto audiotape. The 'confessions' of these mothers was startling in some cases. Some women expressed feelings of resentment and even hate toward their children eg. "I love him but I hate him...I hate what he's doing to me...to us". It certainly seemed that one of the biggest issues was role expectation and the subsequent loss of 'self' (exacerbated by feelings of undesrvedness and guilt in pursuing any claim for 'self' space)....I would like to follow my concluding hypothesis up in another study. That it is not the caring that causes stress but the conflict of roles (mother/carer)and loss of the self that causes the stress and related feelings and perceptions. >Dear Gill, > >A long time ago I wrote that where most people with physical >disabilities can, with a normally functioning brain and intellect, at >least take control over some parts of their lives; people with >intellectual disabilities, by definition, can not. This condems them to >a life of dependence on others. On the other side, their parents are >denied the normal sequence of the cycles of life. They are forever >locked in the "supporting" role that is natural to us all while we bring >up children, but unnatural if it goes on forever. With best regards Laurence Bathurst University of Sydney School of Occupation and Leisure Sciences Faculty of Health Sciences East Street (P.O. Box 170) Lidcombe NSW 1825 Australia Ph+ 61 2 9351 9509 Fax+ 61 2 9351 9166 E-mail [log in to unmask] Note: This is the e-mail address for my home as well ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There is not one shred of evidence that supports the notion that life is serious. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%