In reply to Graham Ross'reference to depression and separation ----

+Similarly if caused by marital
+probelms, maybe bringing teh marriage to an end is the answer rather
+than soldiering on  in a life that makes the patient "depressed"
+(certainly the case for victims of marital violence who often enter the
+ranks of the "depressed").

This fashionable attitude from solicitors and counsellors (many of the latter from failed marriages of their own) of bailing out of a marriage because of a bad patch rather than seeking a communications-based proactive solution - the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus type programme - is another statement about modern society.

I am having bad results from State and private counselling services in helping to save marriages - partenerships that I know should work, for example couples who I have looked after since their early days together and later bringing all their kids into the world.

Often the reason for their marriage failures I believe are depression-induced and communication related and partly due to the stresses and "isolationism" of family living in modern society.

Chucking in the marriage is the easy way out, when very often the root problem is primary depression (Mr Ross please note!)

More and more I now contemplate bypassing the State and private counselling services for the Church-based services in conjunction with pharmacotherapy where appropriate. Sure, trial separations are often warranted and very often extremely temporary. And sometimes they do bring about a permanent separation to the benefit of all three parties - husband, wife and kids.

But the way things seem to be going in New Zealand, if the crusading counsellors and solicitors (there wouldn't be a financial incentive in a divorce settlement would there?? Goodness how could I think such thoughts!!) all have their way the few parents left in a reasonably stable relationship will probably be looked upon as eccentric.
PS: I am not talking about violence or alcohol affected marriages.

Dr Jon Wilcox      
Glenfield Medical Centre
452 Glenfield Road      
Glenfield, Auckland 10                                                                                                    
New Zealand
Fax and Phone +649-444-7656
Mobile  +6425-957-443