 |
 |
On a ward round in a London teaching hospital, a friend of mine was once asked to examine an extremely fat lady on a ward round. For some reason, Alasdair had a stethoscope with an extremely long tube. He was supposed to be paying particular attention to the apex beat. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he pulled several pounds of breast out of the way, being confronted with a rather ghastly area of cheesy intertrigo. By the way I hope everyone reading this has had their breakfast. Then, he applied his stethoscope. Alasdair is a very conscientious person (now a consultant), and he listened for a long time. After a bit, he got worn out holding up the boob, so he let it go, and it neatly trapped his stethoscope underneath. Still listening, Alasdair was faced with the problem of what to do with his hands, so he clasped them behind his back. For some reason we all found this intensely funny, so he got ticked off. He retrieved his tube, delivered his piece, and we moved on. About three patients later (this story is copyright by the way, so no stealing it, Hotch, or anyone else!), Alasdair indulged in a harmless habit he had developed over the years, and put the edge of his stethoscope bell in his mouth, twisting the tube back and forth to get the rather satisfying clicking noise. We all stared at him in a horrified way, including the consultant. *Then* he realised what he had done. The last we saw of him, he was in the sluice, gargling with Chlorhexidine. We still bring it up at dinner parties every now and then. Andrew -------------------------------------- Dr. Andrew N. Herd MRCGP GP, Journalist, and Medical Adviser to Durham Health Authority [log in to unmask] -------------------------------------- %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%