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I can see merit in your version, Patrick, thanks. It’s more concise but might sound like a series of announcements. I tried, in my second version, by adding articles, to slow it down in lines 2 and 3 and not make it sound so stilted. Bill On Wed, 19 Dec 2018 at 8:09 pm, Patrick McManus < [log in to unmask]> wrote: > Hi just up here good to see snaps ! looking at this discussion with > Sheila and Bill > > where's my snap-poem ? > > I wondered lightweight seems bit bogged down with words may I > tentatively float! fly! > > spring lightweight > > flickering sun > > butterfly > > > On 19/12/2018 04:03, Sheila Murphy wrote: > > Even better, Bill! > > > > On Tue, Dec 18, 2018, 8:58 PM Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask] > wrote: > > > >> Thanks, Sheila. > >> > >> Amended slightly now: > >> > >> spring lightweight > >> > >> in the flickering sun > >> > >> - a butterfly > >> > >> > >> bw > >> > >> 19.12.18 > >> > >> On Wed, 19 Dec 2018 at 11:23 am, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask] > > > >> wrote: > >> > >>> lovely, Bill. Thank you! > >>> > >>> On Tue, Dec 18, 2018 at 4:04 PM Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask] > > > >>> wrote: > >>> > >>>> spring lightweight > >>>> > >>>> in flickering sun > >>>> > >>>> - butterfly > >>>> > >>>> > >>>> bw > >>>> > >>>> > >> ######################################################################## > >>>> To unsubscribe from the POETRYETC list, click the following link: > >>>> https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/webadmin?SUBED1=POETRYETC&A=1 > >>>> > >>> > ######################################################################## > >>> > >>> To unsubscribe from the POETRYETC list, click the following link: > >>> https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/webadmin?SUBED1=POETRYETC&A=1 > >>> > >> ######################################################################## > >> > >> To unsubscribe from the POETRYETC list, click the following link: > >> https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/webadmin?SUBED1=POETRYETC&A=1 > >> > > ######################################################################## > > > > To unsubscribe from the POETRYETC list, click the following link: > > https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/webadmin?SUBED1=POETRYETC&A=1 > > ######################################################################## > > To unsubscribe from the POETRYETC list, click the following link: > https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/webadmin?SUBED1=POETRYETC&A=1 > ######################################################################## To unsubscribe from the POETRYETC list, click the following link: https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/webadmin?SUBED1=POETRYETC&A=1