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I like this, Andrew. It brings forward a kind of present tense that does not release its past. On Thu, Jun 22, 2017 at 6:21 PM, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Just now I passed > your past address, > a hollow among > bushes by the railway. > > Now you live > in the former > half-way house > yet walk city streets > like the homeless > you once lived among > > the pavement > alleys and buildings > somehow still > shape your life > > <https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_ > source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail> > Virus-free. > www.avast.com > <https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_ > source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail> > <#DAB4FAD8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2> > > On 22 June 2017 at 23:15, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > > Not quite that bad, Andrew, but I also noticed that ‘passed’, & wonder > how > > you might either find another line to make 2 couplets out of that tercet, > > or else not worry about stanza breaks at all, at least so ordered then > > broken once. The observation keeps. > > > > Doug > > > On Jun 22, 2017, at 5:35 AM, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > > > > > > Yes, it's shit Bill. I'll tighten it and fiddle with 'passed' and > 'past' > > > ... An unedited snap from my busy brain :-) > > > > > > Andrew > > > > > > <https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_ > > source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail> > > > Virus-free. > > > www.avast.com > > > <https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_ > > source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail> > > > <#DAB4FAD8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2> > > > > > > On 22 June 2017 at 18:19, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > > > > > >> Line one's 'passed' is odd to me, Andrew. And why the tercet among the > > >> couplets? Otherwise this is of interest, the idea of shapes' effect on > > >> lives. > > >> > > >> Bill > > >> > > >> On Thu, 22 Jun 2017 at 2:14 PM, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> > > wrote: > > >> > > >>> I drive passed > > >>> your past address > > >>> > > >>> a hollow among > > >>> bushes by the railway > > >>> > > >>> now you live > > >>> full time > > >>> > > >>> in the former > > >>> half-way house > > >>> > > >>> yet walk the city streets > > >>> like the homeless > > >>> you once lived among > > >>> > > >>> the pavement > > >>> alleys and buildings > > >>> > > >>> somehow shape > > >>> your life > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> -- > > >>> Andrew > > >>> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ > > >>> Books available through Walleah Press > > >>> http://walleahpress.com.au > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> < > > >>> https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_ > > >> source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail > > >>>> > > >>> Virus-free. > > >>> www.avast.com > > >>> < > > >>> https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_ > > >> source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail > > >>>> > > >>> <#DAB4FAD8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2> > > >>> > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > Andrew > > > http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ > > > Books available through Walleah Press > > > http://walleahpress.com.au > > > > Douglas Barbour > > [log in to unmask] > > https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/ > > > > Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations > > 2 (UofAPress). > > Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). > > Listen. If (UofAPress): > > > > > > I go down to the Twilight Arcade > > and watch the Martian invaders, > > already appalled by our language, > > pointing at what they want. > > > > Bill Manhire > > > > > > -- > Andrew > http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ > Books available through Walleah Press > http://walleahpress.com.au >