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See what others think, P. Bill Hurt Johnny Cash <https://www.google.com.au/search?client=safari&hl=en-au&q=Johnny+Cash&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgVuLSz9U3MM6IT8s2BQB8auD2DgAAAA&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiZo6Oro5LTAhXBKJQKHSauD8MQMQgfMAA> Lyrics I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real The needle tears a hole The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of thorns Upon my liar's chair Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear You are someone else I am still right here What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt If I could start again A million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way Songwriter: Trent Reznor Hurt lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. On Fri, 7 Apr 2017 at 4:32 pm, Patrick McManus < [log in to unmask]> wrote: > yes it is interesting that the first line is a distraction for me -def > tricky for this old head -perhaps I have listened to too much Johnny > Cash -I have seen before this can happen in other poems of course it can > be used intentionally like 'what have the xxxxd one for us?'cheers P > freezing outside this morning > > > On 06/04/2017 23:19, Bill Wootton wrote: > > Yes, Doug. The Man in Black may be in country trash heaven but never a > > Yikes man. > > > > Bill > > > > On Fri, 7 Apr 2017 at 5:38 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > > > >> And the ‘Yikes!’ definitely keeps it from entering that ‘Hurt’ > territory… > >> > >> Doug > >>> On Apr 5, 2017, at 6:56 PM, Robin Hamilton < > >> [log in to unmask]> wrote: > >>> I'd keep the tercet form, Bill -- makes it read (nicely) like a mix of > >> haiku and > >>> WCW. > >>> > >>> Robin > >>> > >>>> On 06 April 2017 at 00:49 Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> > >> wrote: > >>>> > >>>> Thanks, Sheila, Doug, Pat again. I tried Andrew's suggestion of > >> abolishing > >>>> the tercets but still wasn't happy so I've mucked with it again, > if > >>>> anybody > >>>> cares to look. I don't mind being specific about the ghee tin, > Doug. > >> It > >>>> might ring a bell or serve as warning for others. Pat, I was aware > >> of the > >>>> song 'Hurt' written by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails and > covered so > >>>> memorably by Cash. But in the song, the hurt is deliberate to see > if > >> he > >>>> still feels pain, as I recall. > >>>> > >>>> Anyway, last effort for now reads like this, with mainly > re-ordering > >>>> changes. > >>>> > >>>> Cut > >>>> > >>>> I cut myself today. > >>>> The empty green ghee tin looked useful. > >>>> Why not rinse it out? > >>>> > >>>> Yikes. Surprised by sharp in sink suds. > >>>> Internal, infernal metal edge. > >>>> Warm water masked slash to right thumb. > >>>> > >>>> Circum-grip withdrawn digit with left hand > >>>> to stem before it began, the rich red flow. > >>>> But rupture will not be denied. > >>>> > >>>> Pumping out opinions, pounding about, > >>>> we take intactness so much for granted. > >>>> Bodies just flesh jackets over blood rivers, > >>>> > >>>> always only one breach from gush. > >>>> > >>>> bw > >>>> 6.4.17 > >>>> > >>>> Bill > >>>> > >>>> On Thu, 6 Apr 2017 at 6:40 AM, Douglas Barbour < > [log in to unmask] > >>>> wrote: > >>>> > >>>>> I like the way it gets to its end Bill, but not sure you need to > >>>>> identify > >>>>> that tin, which meant nothing to me (or maybe anyone not Aussie?)… > >>>>> > >>>>> Doug > >>>>>> On Apr 5, 2017, at 12:48 PM, Patrick McManus < > >>>>> [log in to unmask]> wrote: > >>>>>> Hi Bill just remembered what your first line reminded of -'I hurt > >>>>>> myself > >>>>> today' great Johnny cash song (written by someone else > >>>>>> cheers Patrick > >>>>>> > >>>>>> > >>>>>> > >>>>>> -------- Forwarded Message -------- > >>>>>> Subject: Re: Cut > >>>>>> Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2017 08:16:18 +0100 > >>>>>> From: Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> > >>>>>> To: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics <[log in to unmask]> > >>>>>> > >>>>>> > >>>>>> > >>>>>> Hi Bill thanks the perils of washing up and pouring out opinions -my > >>>>> shed is full of maybe useful jars and tins > >>>>>> > >>>>>> On 04/04/2017 23:37, Bill Wootton wrote: > >>>>>>> I cut myself today > >>>>>>> Surprised by sharp > >>>>>>> in sink suds > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> The green ghee tin > >>>>>>> looked useful > >>>>>>> Why not wash it out > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> Warm water masked > >>>>>>> the slash to right thumb > >>>>>>> Infernal internal metal edge > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> Quick withdrawal > >>>>>>> Circumgrip with left hand > >>>>>>> to stem before it began > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> the rich red flow > >>>>>>> But rupture will not > >>>>>>> be denied its outflow > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> All of us, pumping out > >>>>>>> opinions, pounding about, > >>>>>>> only so many blood rivers > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> and sub-rivers, > >>>>>>> one breach from > >>>>>>> clearing out. > >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> bw > >>>>> Douglas Barbour > >>>>> [log in to unmask] > >>>>> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/ > >>>>> > >>>>> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & > >>>>> Continuations > >>>>> 2 (UofAPress). > >>>>> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). > >>>>> Listen. If (UofAPress): > >>>>> > >>>>> and as you read > >>>>> the sea is turning its dark pages > >>>>> turning > >>>>> its dark pages. > >>>>> > >>>>> Denise Levertov > >>>>> > >> Douglas Barbour > >> [log in to unmask] > >> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/ > >> > >> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & > Continuations > >> 2 (UofAPress). > >> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). > >> Listen. If (UofAPress): > >> > >> > >> and as you read > >> the sea is turning its dark pages > >> turning > >> its dark pages. > >> > >> Denise Levertov > >> >