 |
 |
Thanks, Sheila, Doug, Pat again. I tried Andrew's suggestion of abolishing the tercets but still wasn't happy so I've mucked with it again, if anybody cares to look. I don't mind being specific about the ghee tin, Doug. It might ring a bell or serve as warning for others. Pat, I was aware of the song 'Hurt' written by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails and covered so memorably by Cash. But in the song, the hurt is deliberate to see if he still feels pain, as I recall. Anyway, last effort for now reads like this, with mainly re-ordering changes. Cut I cut myself today. The empty green ghee tin looked useful. Why not rinse it out? Yikes. Surprised by sharp in sink suds. Internal, infernal metal edge. Warm water masked slash to right thumb. Circum-grip withdrawn digit with left hand to stem before it began, the rich red flow. But rupture will not be denied. Pumping out opinions, pounding about, we take intactness so much for granted. Bodies just flesh jackets over blood rivers, always only one breach from gush. bw 6.4.17 Bill On Thu, 6 Apr 2017 at 6:40 AM, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > I like the way it gets to its end Bill, but not sure you need to identify > that tin, which meant nothing to me (or maybe anyone not Aussie?)… > > Doug > > On Apr 5, 2017, at 12:48 PM, Patrick McManus < > [log in to unmask]> wrote: > > > > Hi Bill just remembered what your first line reminded of -'I hurt myself > today' great Johnny cash song (written by someone else > > > > cheers Patrick > > > > > > > > -------- Forwarded Message -------- > > Subject: Re: Cut > > Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2017 08:16:18 +0100 > > From: Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> > > To: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics <[log in to unmask]> > > > > > > > > Hi Bill thanks the perils of washing up and pouring out opinions -my > shed is full of maybe useful jars and tins > > > > > > On 04/04/2017 23:37, Bill Wootton wrote: > >> I cut myself today > >> Surprised by sharp > >> in sink suds > >> > >> The green ghee tin > >> looked useful > >> Why not wash it out > >> > >> Warm water masked > >> the slash to right thumb > >> Infernal internal metal edge > >> > >> Quick withdrawal > >> Circumgrip with left hand > >> to stem before it began > >> > >> the rich red flow > >> But rupture will not > >> be denied its outflow > >> > >> All of us, pumping out > >> opinions, pounding about, > >> only so many blood rivers > >> > >> and sub-rivers, > >> one breach from > >> clearing out. > >> > >> bw > > Douglas Barbour > [log in to unmask] > https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/ > > Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations > 2 (UofAPress). > Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). > Listen. If (UofAPress): > > and as you read > the sea is turning its dark pages > turning > its dark pages. > > Denise Levertov >