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Andrew, I find it hard to make connections between the stanzas. The opening may get legs but seems to lurch somewhere else in stanza 2, a footy reference? And by the 3rd, the introduction of 'we' makes me wonder: is the poem taking a didactic bent? By the 4th, I didn't know what game was in your sights - life? footy again? both? St first I misread 'complete' as 'compete'. And then those asterisks in the 5th? The reason I didn't reply at first was because I didn't get it. I still don't but you insisted! And my team, Collingwood went down this arvo at the G. Sorry if I have misread everything. Bill > On 31 Jul 2015, at 12:46 am, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > I'd love some feedback on the following, if you have time. > > ..... > > Life is a hit album, > > concept pending. > > > > As spring dusts off > > the holding yards, > > North stays steady in a storm. > > > > We plan > > but rarely complete. > > > > It’s a game of millimetres, > > of a bee’s tit. Where > > you came from > > > > takes you to where > > you go: *turn * > > *to us with confidence.* > > > > - Andrew Burke >