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Yeah, I like this, Jill… Doug On Aug 26, 2015, at 5:11 PM, Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Thanks Doug, > > Useful, for sure, to re-see. Being a very new thing, I'm still tinkering myself. So maybe something more like this: > > Night is full of animals > > they’re always there > > ground waking > > by morning all the leaves > > live and die alongside those trails > > and light ways, noise ways > > as well as cars, trains, planes > > and some distant event. > > > Anyway, I'll keep thinking on it. > > Best, > Jill > > > On 27/08/2015, at 1:16 AM, Douglas Barbour wrote: > >> Jill >> >> I like it, but the 3rd line stocks a bit (that passive), & I’m not sure it needs to be there even. The rest seems to present what happens as happening. I’d almost cut all the ‘to be’ verging in that stanza, let it sit as a kind of active still life if you see what I mean…? Then it goes… >> >> Doug >> On Aug 26, 2015, at 6:08 AM, Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote: >> >>> The Fall Through >>> >>> >>> >>> Night is full of animals >>> >>> they’re always there >>> >>> you see how ground is woken >>> >>> by morning all the leaves >>> >>> live and die alongside those trails >>> >>> and light ways, it can be noisy >>> >>> as well as cars, trains, planes >>> >>> and some distant event. >>> >>> >>> >>> All this travels the ground >>> >>> unless something climbs. >>> >>> Presumably there’s death >>> >>> and violence, even if the sound >>> >>> doesn’t carry. Presumably. >>> >>> >>> >>> Though you know nothing >>> >>> even when trains are still >>> >>> going west to the coast >>> >>> and sky roars with its metal >>> >>> besides accident and need. >>> >>> What happens is what is done. >>> >>> >>> >>> By morning a feather, a scrap of fur >>> >>> a shallow hole, something to fall through >>> >>> letting go of attachments. >>> >> >> Douglas Barbour >> [log in to unmask] >> >> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress). >> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). >> >> Done in by creation itself. >> >> I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too. >> The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books? >> We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming? >> >> Robert Kroetsch. Douglas Barbour [log in to unmask] Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress). Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). Done in by creation itself. I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too. The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books? We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming? Robert Kroetsch.