 |
 |
For sure, it could be worked on. My problem as I look at the heap of typescript and manuscript to which this belongs, and it goes by various names, including WRITTEN GRAPHICAL and TO OBSERVE.... I know that something has to be abandoned. Well, if it were all of the same quality, I might change my mind; but as I have clearly demonstrated here, it isn't. (My current mental bolt hole is that I went from planning text-sound composition with John Drever, to cremating Geoffrey Soar to planning artists books with Guy Begbie over three days; and clearly no one could expect me to be functioning well. Bullshit.) So I shall let it go, a little sadly; but I would rather produce something new and bouncing than have something on a kind of life support. I've excised the worst nonsense and put the residue into a newly-formed pool of work (contents now 1 page) where Guy can raid it and send it off in another direction. That worked quite well a few years ago when we brought together bookworks that hadn't worked and found that a number of them found happiness together - a whole cabinet of such hybrids in our last show. We hope to expand from paper structures into film and text. It'll be interesting to see if he does anything with it. Meanwhile my pile of paper is reduced by one. L On 19 December 2014 at 16:22, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > Lawrence > > I can definitely see editing what's there, little cut here & there, but I > also see it as a kind of wall of monitors thing (do you remember David > Bowie in The Man Who Fell to Earth?), & it could work as such, once you got > it into the shape you seek. > > Doug > On Dec 19, 2014, at 4:49 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > > > Hi Douglas I appreciate your comments. I was on the point of closing down > > for the evening when it arrived and I have been thinking since, on and > off. > > > > I think the poem's not very good; and it had been better if I had thought > > that before I posted it. > > > > Stevie Smith was not in my mind, but now that you mention her I can see > why > > she might be in yours. > > > > The first stanza is cut down from what I originally wrote, mixing > metaphor; > > I tried to improve it but I ought to have cut it out completely for all > the > > use it is! > > > > In this and all poems that might be thought similar, I'm not greatly > > concerned about the nature of the power of observation - where are we > > watching Yogi and Boo Boo from? - it's a version of the fourth wall; > though > > perhaps that would be an interesting question to pose; but that the > > description "particularly nosy & persistent drone" is what you came up > with > > suggests to me that *I have failed. I can see the merit of what you say, > > but it wasn't what I was after! > > > > I am genuinely grateful for your comments; and I apologise to all for > > posting the poem! > > > > try again next week > > > > > > best > > > > > > L > > > > > > On 18 December 2014 at 17:48, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > >> > >> a circling, indeed, Lawrence. makes me wonder in what, with what power > of > >> observation. felt like a ride with a particularly nosy & persistent > drone... > >> > >> of course I thought 'not waving but drowning' in the first stanza, & > maybe > >> that's the feeling you intended throughout...? > >> > >> Doug > >> On Dec 17, 2014, at 12:37 PM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> > >> wrote: > >> > >>> skyline going down in fire > >>> > >>> in water, couple of arms > >>> > >>> thrown up and then failing -- > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> the world turns upside down > >>> > >>> comes round in orbit; sky, > >>> > >>> the ground, the ground the sky, > >>> > >>> moving fast; the road, > >>> > >>> the planet, fast-moving cloud -- > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> old man out in the garden, > >>> > >>> dark figure in bright sun, > >>> > >>> over-exposed, light > >>> > >>> cascading through a lens, > >>> > >>> just missing him, whitewash > >>> > >>> tipped from a bucket, pulling > >>> > >>> a spade or a fork, straw hat > >>> > >>> on his head, a pale blue sky, > >>> > >>> sharp vision! tilting over > >>> > >>> as we go at high speed; > >>> > >>> a woman's foot on a > >>> > >>> weighing machine; edge of > >>> > >>> the bath visible, its side > >>> > >>> wall and white top; corner > >>> > >>> of the hand-basin; coffee > >>> > >>> cup stains on the bath; mud > >>> > >>> stains on the floor. She steps > >>> > >>> off; the scale swings back and > >>> > >>> forth; clank; wearing stockings; > >>> > >>> oranges and apples juggled; > >>> > >>> some children's hands throwing > >>> > >>> and catching them; cameras > >>> > >>> pointing into the sky > >>> > >>> to catch the hands and fruit; > >>> > >>> advertising signs > >>> > >>> and signposts out of focus, > >>> > >>> curve of a wheel giant at large > >>> > >>> seen close (bonnet, headlight, > >>> > >>> both look a bit old-fashioned, > >>> > >>> both slightly blurred), all things > >>> > >>> are solarised; winner > >>> > >>> crossing the finishing line, > >>> > >>> police tackling a striker, > >>> > >>> tumbling together, skittles > >>> > >>> colliding, grasses > >>> > >>> interweaving under > >>> > >>> the wind, my voice and a TV > >>> > >>> shouting together to make > >>> > >>> one image; milk bottles; > >>> > >>> pillars of the British Museum, > >>> > >>> turkeys and Canada geese > >>> > >>> walking this way, topiary > >>> > >>> hedges, woman swinging > >>> > >>> a cape beneath her head, > >>> > >>> two men shaking a carpet, > >>> > >>> toreador, flag as he crosses > >>> > >>> the line, and the spacecraft > >>> > >>> rolling in space - a child > >>> > >>> with whooping cough - a snake > >>> > >>> eating flies at evening > >>> > >> > >> Douglas Barbour > >> [log in to unmask] > >> > >> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & > Continuation 2 > >> (UofAPress). > >> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). > >> > >> that we are only > >> as we find out we are > >> > >> Charles Olson > >> > > > > Douglas Barbour > [log in to unmask] > > Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 > (UofAPress). > Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). > > that we are only > as we find out we are > > Charles Olson >