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Just a note that after long consideration I have formally accepted Sheila Murphy's idea of removing the second 'still'. The one before 'proclaimed'. It really makes the closing rhythm more sensitive. Well read and heard Sheila. While one of my great regrets is that my childhood team, Birmingham City, once sported the beautiful name of 'Small Heath Alliance', which they prosaically abandoned. The etymology of 'sport' is quite interesting btwe. look up Martial for 'sportula'. Free baskets all round :) best Dave the few. History repeats. > > > > > > Andrew > > > > > > > > > On 20 August 2014 20:52, David Bircumshaw > > > wrote: > > > > > > > That's ok, Andrew. Digressing upon 'football', a friend I were > chatting > > > > about things yesterday, as you do, and we came across the > creepy > > > > coincidence that the demise of public executions in Victorian > England > > > > coincided rather too well with the rise of organised football. > Am > > > becoming > > > > almost an enthusiast for the removal of the second 'still'. > Case > > against, > > > > anybody/ > > > > > > > > Best > > > > > > > > Dave > > > > > > > > > > > > On 20 August 2014 11:20, Andrew Burke wrote: > > > > > > > > > Oh, I foolishly misread 'footfall' as 'football'! Not once, > but a > > > number > > > > of > > > > > times! Ha ha ha ... It's me beady old eyes deceiving me, > without > > > benefit > > > > of > > > > > intelligence. > > > > > > > > > > Sorry! No wonder I was confused ... > > > > > > > > > > Andrew > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 20 August 2014 18:10, David Bircumshaw > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > Am now slightly turning towards excising the second 'still' > but not > > > yet > > > > > > wholly convinced :) Hard life, poetry, innit? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 20 August 2014 08:30, David Bircumshaw < > > [log in to unmask] > > > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > Football Andrew?!!! I think not :) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Still have a primitive fondness for the still though :) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > David > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 20 August 2014 04:52, Andrew Burke > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> Well, I'm a little lost - the football reference threw > me > > sideways > > > > > away > > > > > > >> from battle and/or space ... But still I like the > movement and > > > sound > > > > > of > > > > > > it > > > > > > >> (without the 'still' :-) )) > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> I'll just read it later - in a different mood, in a > different > > room > > > > ... > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> Andrew > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> On 20 August 2014 08:12, David Bircumshaw < > > > > [log in to unmask]> > > > > > > >> wrote: > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > Thanks Sheila. that might be a good idea, although I'm > still > > > > > thinking > > > > > > >> on it > > > > > > >> > :) > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > >> > On 19 August 2014 23:07, Sheila Murphy < > > [log in to unmask] > > > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > I really like this, David. Tiny suggestions would be > to > > remove > > > > the > > > > > > >> second > > > > > > >> > > "still" (final stanza line 3) for effect. > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > Great work! Sheila > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 3:00 PM, Bill Wootton < > > > > > > >> [log in to unmask]> > > > > > > >> > > wrote: > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > Moving, David. I get the gratitude I think. I > found myself > > > > > reading > > > > > > >> > 'bank' > > > > > > >> > > > for 'blank' but maybe that's the final river > interposing. > > > Like > > > > > > >> > > particularly > > > > > > >> > > > 'footfall echo maps'. > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > Bill > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > On 20 Aug 2014, at 7:48 am, David Bircumshaw < > > > > > > >> > > [log in to unmask]> > > > > > > >> > > > wrote: > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > * Scantling Saywas* > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Even though the walls > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Collapsed like lungs > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Even though to speak > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Burnt like a grate > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Even though your body > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Melted into space > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Even though the blank > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Was flamed through with holes > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > The morning still maintained > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > A message from before > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > The paths still proclaimed > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Footfall echo maps > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > And afternoons still basked > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > A scent of light turning > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > Over on an open river > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > -- > > > > > > >> > > > > David Joseph Bircumshaw > > > > > > >> > > > > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > > > > > > >> > > > > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > > > > > > >> > > > > The Animal Subsides > > > > > > >> > http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > > > > > > >> > > > > Facebook: > http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > > > > > > >> > > > > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/ > > > > > > >> > > > > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > > > > > > >> > > > > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ > > > > > > >> > > > > Leicester Poetry Society: > > http://www.poetryleicester.com > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > >> > -- > > > > > > >> > David Joseph Bircumshaw > > > > > > >> > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > > > > > > >> > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > > > > > > >> > The Animal Subsides > > > > > http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > > > > > > >> > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > > > > > > >> > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/ > > > > > > >> > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > > > > > > >> > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ > > > > > > >> > Leicester Poetry Society: > http://www.poetryleicester.com > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> -- > > > > > > >> Andrew > > > > > > >> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ > > > > > > >> 'Undercover of Lightness' > > > > > > >> http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html > > > > > > >> 'Shikibu Shuffle' > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-press-shikibu.html > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > > > > David Joseph Bircumshaw > > > > > > > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > > > > > > > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > > > > > > > The Animal Subsides > > > > http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > > > > > > > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > > > > > > > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/ > > > > > > > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > > > > > > > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ > > > > > > > Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > > > David Joseph Bircumshaw > > > > > > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > > > > > > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > > > > > > The Animal Subsides > > > http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > > > > > > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > > > > > > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/ > > > > > > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > > > > > > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ > > > > > > Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > David Joseph Bircumshaw > > > > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > > > > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > > > > The Animal Subsides > http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > > > > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > > > > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/ > > > > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > > > > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ > > > > Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > David Joseph Bircumshaw > > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > > The Animal Subsides > http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/ > > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ > > Leicester Poetry Society: http://wwwpoetryleicester.com > > > > -- > Andrew > http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ > 'Undercover of Lightness' > http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html > 'Shikibu Shuffle' > > http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-press-shikibu.html > > -- David Joseph Bircumshaw Website and A Chide's Alphabet http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/ twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com