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I really like this, David. Tiny suggestions would be to remove the second "still" (final stanza line 3) for effect. Great work! Sheila On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 3:00 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Moving, David. I get the gratitude I think. I found myself reading 'bank' > for 'blank' but maybe that's the final river interposing. Like particularly > 'footfall echo maps'. > > Bill > > > On 20 Aug 2014, at 7:48 am, David Bircumshaw <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > > > > * Scantling Saywas* > > > > > > > > Even though the walls > > > > Collapsed like lungs > > > > Even though to speak > > > > Burnt like a grate > > > > Even though your body > > > > Melted into space > > > > Even though the blank > > > > Was flamed through with holes > > > > > > > > The morning still maintained > > > > A message from before > > > > The paths still proclaimed > > > > Footfall echo maps > > > > And afternoons still basked > > > > A scent of light turning > > > > > > > > Over on an open river > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > David Joseph Bircumshaw > > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > > The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/ > > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ > > Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com > > >