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Ah! It’s the Killer White Rabbit, also from Monty Python’s The Holy Grail!
If we ran tests like the one at the ‘Bridge of Death’, we’d get a better pass rate, although we might lose a few examiners along the way....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wpx6XnankZ8
Paul King
Exams Officer,
Leyton Sixth Form College
Tel: 020 8928 9135
Fax: 020 8928 9200
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of Kate Oliver
Sent: 27 February 2014 10:25
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
What like this
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list
[mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of Sarah Cassel-Gerard
Sent: 27 February 2014 10:17
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
Ah now Kate I feel the need to intervene ! I have been reading your exchanges with much amusement but now must challenge you. ALL my students are fluffy wabbits and flowers… I know this because their parents
are constantly telling me so J
Sarah Cassel-Gerard
Examinations Officer
Esher College
Centre 64785
020 8398 0291 (sw) ext 2531
020 8335 2531 (dir)
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of Kate Oliver
Sent: 27 February 2014 09:59
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
Mr Who and Mr What????? Never heard of these charlatans…….
Now maybe if they and Mr Gove came and studied for their Funky Skills exams alongside some “real” students in a real college (not the perfect little darlings they try and make us believe we have) they would learn
what education-land was really like and it aint full of fluffy wabbits and flowers and smiling shiny faced kids…..its grubby and grimy and slaps you about a bit every now and again…..that’s why we love it!!!
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of Duncan Buck
Sent: 27 February 2014 09:53
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
Kate
Me too. However your rants make me realise that as Mr Cameron and Osbourne say "we are all in it together", even if they are not.
Regards
Duncan
>>> Ruth Castle <[log in to unmask]> 27/02/2014 09:50 >>>
I feel your pain!
Ruth Castle
Examinations and Awards Officer | Student Records
Askham Bryan College, York | Askham Bryan | York | YO23 3FR
T:
+44 (0) 1904 772206 |
F:
+44 (0) 1904 772288
|
E:
[log in to unmask]">[log in to unmask]
| www.askham-bryan.ac.uk
Please
consider the environment before printing this e-mail
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of Kate Oliver
Sent: 27 February 2014 09:47
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
Had 2 this morning who insisted they don't have to re-sit as they've passed..they're not the first who've tried this one
I politely (ha ha ha.me polite at 8.00am NOT!!!) asked.dear little stoods how do you know you've passed...answer.cos we have.
Question..pray tell who told you you've passed
Answer...no-one
Question..well that is amazing, do enlighten me as to how you know you've passed
Answer..we just do cos the test was "piss easy"
Statement...please wait one moment whilst I go and check for you I will be as quick as I can
I walk away muttering numerous obscenities and creating some new ones!!! Then the real me kicks in...
Statement..well here are your results from last time..you failed..you, dummy number 1 got 22.5% and you, dummy number 2 got 35% so you failed, do you understand me YOU FAILED. You DID NOT PASS, you FAILED, that
is bad cos it shows that you aint clever, you are stupid and think you're sooooo smart and all that. You also failed in January..you also failed in December.you're having to re-sit cos you aint as bloody clever as you think you are, are you, you little smart
arses. So get out of my face and get to class and turn up for your exam this afternoon and try to pass it for the 4th time running otherwise you won't be able to leave college in the summer cos you won't have achieved anything and then you can't
get a job and then you'll have to come back here and spend the next 25 years re-doing your FS English until you finally pass just as you reach retirement age. (well that's what I was hearing I was saying in my head but unfortunately it came out a lot politer!!!)
And these are the people who will be looking after us and running the country in our old age..SHOOT ME NOW!!!!!!
Kate
Kate Oliver
Examinations Manager
020 8326 2298
West Thames College
London Road
Isleworth
TW7 4HS
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of Karen Sturland
Sent: 27 February 2014 08:14
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
The comfort here (or possibly worry) is that all students seem to be the same wherever they are in the country. Nearly bottle of wine Friday folks!
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list
[[log in to unmask]] on behalf of Colin Humphreys [[log in to unmask]]
Sent: 26 February 2014 17:58
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
Lol
Sent from my iPad
On 26 Feb 2014, at 17:45, "Kate Oliver" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
Paul
You have made a very depressed and fed up Exams Manager laugh for the first time this week after horrendous functional skills re-sits sessions.
I feel that I keep having to repeat myself just like this to teacher/students again and again just to get basic info into their heads like...
..your timetable says 10am on Monday 24th Feb so your exam was on Monday 24th Feb at 10am so you should have turned up at 9.45am on the 24th Feb which was a Monday so you could start your exam at 10am...don't @~$%*#@! come complaining to me on Wednesday 26th Feb at 3 o'clock in the afternoon that you didn't realise your exam was supposed to be on Monday 24th at 10am because all the slots for Thursday and Friday this week are full and the next 2 weeks they are all full with Writing exams and the 2 weeks after that FS Maths exams. So there is no other time you could have sat it so you can jolly well @?!"*&%$ wait until June when the final session of FS Reading re-sits will take place...
It doesn't really matter that he didn't turn up as he would have failed anyway cos he clearly can't read !!!
Kate
Kate Oliver
Examinations Manager
020 8326 2298West Thames College
London Road
Isleworth
TW7 4HS<image001.png><image004.png><image005.png><image006.png><image007.png><image008.png>
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Paul King
Sent: 26 February 2014 17:15
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
I give you 'The Holy Grail'
Watch from about 1m 50s....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3YiPC91QUk
How hard can it be?
Very hard!
Paul King
Exams Officer,
Leyton Sixth Form College
Tel: 020 8928 9135
Fax: 020 8928 9200
<image009.gif>
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Colin Humphreys
Sent: 26 February 2014 16:52
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
Hi Tony,
The lunatics appear to have finally taken over the asylum! It's like something you would expect to see in a Monty Python sketch.
Regards,
Colin Humphreys
Rheolwr Cofrestru ac Asesu /Registrations and Assessments Manager
EMIS
Coleg y Cymoedd
Ffon/Tel:
Rhif Uniongyrchol/Direct Line: 01443 663242
Ffacs/Fax: 01443 663228
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Tony McIlroy
Sent: 26 February 2014 16:35
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: IS IT ME????
Hi Colin
Funnily enough I had something similar recently (see below and pay special attention to the bold type):
My original e-mail:
Hi Christine
I have been given your contact details by Chris Marsh who has informed me you are the person to talk to in order to get a statement of our account. I am going to start requesting these on a monthly basis to ensure that all invoices are accounted for and processed within your payment terms.
Can you please send me a current statement of our account?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Reply from CSKills after over a week of waiting and 2 further chasing e-mails:
Good morning Tony
Sorry I did not get back to you, but as I was replying to you on Friday our system went down, and I have been on holiday last week.
Regarding the request for a statement if you could please drop me an email and I will email you one to you.
My response:
Can you send me a statement please?
You couldn't make it up sometimes!!!!!!!!!!
Tony McIlroy
Team Manager - Exams
Derby College, 2 Roundhouse Road, Pride Park, DERBY, DE24 8JE
Telephone: 0300 1237890 |Ext. 4021 |
<image010.jpg>
From: The FE Exams Network mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Colin Humphreys
Sent: 26 February 2014 15:50
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: IS IT ME????
Just had an email from [log in to unmask] notifying me that, as I had not accessed their site for over a year, I will have my account removed if I have not responded by 14 March stating that I wish to keep the account active.
I responded to the email, as requested, stating that I would like my account to retain my account, and added that I had forgotten my username and could they please let me know what it is so that I can, once again, access their secure site.
They responded:
"Dear User,
To receive your login details, please contact the LRS Service Desk on Telephone: 0845 602 2589 or by email [log in to unmask]
Alternatively please complete and return a copy of the Change of Super User Form which is available from the LRS website. Once completed you can return your forms via post or email to:
1. Postal address: LRS Business Support Team, Skills Funding Agency, Cheylesmore House, Quinton Road, Coventry, CV1 2WT
2. E-mail address: [log in to unmask]
Kind regards
Service Desk"
!!!!!! - I HAD requested by email at the address they provided - the VERY SAME BLEEDING ADDRESS that their email came from informing me that I need to email them to get the information!!
Really - IS IT ME?
Regards,
Colin Humphreys
Rheolwr Cofrestru ac Asesu /Registrations and Assessments Manager
EMIS
Coleg y Cymoedd
Ffon/Tel:
Rhif Uniongyrchol/Direct Line: 01443 663242
Ffacs/Fax: 01443 663228
Ebost/email: [log in to unmask]
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