Hey, Max. I too like it a lot, but I wonder about the chopping up into tidy quatrains - some of the breaks seem illogical and un-musical. How about trying it with the breaks dictated by sense, not just tradition? But I do like it, honestly. Andrew On 27 June 2012 14:51, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]>wrote: > Ah those memories captured thanks Max > Ps I worked in a grocers -biscuits were loose those days and I had to check > the eggs in a bucket of water P > > -----Original Message----- > From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On > Behalf Of Max Richards > Sent: 27 June 2012 02:00 > To: [log in to unmask] > Subject: snap: butter [with 'bach' in its NZ sense] > > Butter > > When the butter doesn't spread, > but makes my knife drag, > instantly I'm back in Auckland, > seventeen, wielding a spatula > > over bulk butter in cartons. > I'm slicing from each two ounces; > numbered they go to shelves > to see if any carry nasties. > > My first job after high school it was - > at the government bureau > that oversaw dairy exports. > 'temporary junior labourer' - > > nothing could have paid less. > Down on the wharf just along > from the ferry building > chilled cartons of butter > > arrived from every factory > in the North Island, paused > briefly in the big cool store, > were loaded on the cargo ships, > > and sailed away, mostly to Britain, > keeping New Zealand afloat > and Britain's bread buttered. > Where was the guilty factory? > > My boss the Pommy scientist > cast me as assistant sleuth. > We're getting to the bottom of this! > Slice and shift, number and store. > > In my breaks I worked my way > through the three old Pelicans: > A. L. Bacharach, > 'Lives of the Great Composers'. > > Of most I'd never heard a bar. > I'd plodded steadily > as far as Monteverdi. > Ahead lay Bach and more Bachs. > > My boss pounced on the name > Bacharach - a well-known chemist > from his own home town. Read on, > Max, but don't neglect the butter. > > At last, the moment - Eureka! > The dirty-water factory > was way past Tauranga > and even Whakatane, > > almost at East Cape. > Retribution followed. > The lab staff celebrated, > my job was terminated. > > Music-less in an uncle's beach bach,* > I read up Bacharach's Bachs > spending my hard-earned quids > on ice-cream from a clean source. > > > [*bach: New Zealand word for week-end shack] > -- Andrew http://hispirits.blogspot.com/