 |
 |
Government steps in as euro pandemic threatens Britain
The government has announced urgent plans to inoculate the UK population against the threat of the euro amid growing concerns about a pandemic.
The spread of the disease dubbed the Greek Flu could wipe out large parts of Europe, experts warned this week, as the government revealed emergency measures to protect British citizens.
One said: “It starts as an isolated case and before long it’s spread throughout the world leaving millions literally dead broke. We saw the same thing in the 1930s.”
Among the new measures is increased production of the Quantitative Easing (QE) vaccine, supplies of which are already running out.
“QE can make the patient feel much more comfortable, “ said George Osborne, a Westminster GP. Dr Osborne admitted that while QE gives temporary relief to the more acute symptoms of affluenza it does little to address the underlying causes.
Other doctors have proposed a more traditional remedy to take people’s minds off the problems in the economy. QEII will be taken during street parties up and down the country with large quantities of alcohol and bunting.
A public health expert said initial trials of QEII had been encouraging. “People who had previously complained of feeling unwell were soon taking to the streets waving and cheering,” the expert said. She acknowledged however that the beneficial effects may be short-lived.
Doctors warned against complacency. “Many people think you can’t catch euro here, but there is plenty of evidence to show that it is highly contagious,” said one. The danger is increased by the influx of foreign visitors for the Olympic Games and the tendency of British people to take holidays in high-risk parts of the world without taking proper precautions.
“A lot of the people flooding into London this summer could be quite literally oozing with euros. It’s hard to see how we can contain the problem,” the doctor said.
Symptoms of euro include:
• Persistent snivelling and whining
• Irritation in all areas from prolonged exposure to TV pundits (Peston’s syndrome)
• Coughing up large amounts every month, or “paying the bills” as the condition is also known
• General loss of interest, particularly in pensions and life savings
• Delusions of getting better, often accompanied by hallucinations involving green shoots, sheaves of corn, and large quantities of milk and honey
People with these symptoms are urged not to go to their GP, where they risk infecting other patients, but to stay indoors until their bank balance starts to recover.
A leading GP said: “It’s hard enough to make ends meet without having to listen to patients banging on about their trivial financial ailments. If they turn up here, I’ll send them straight to the local hospital – some of those consultants are making a fortune.”
Comment on this blog (http://www.networks.nhs.uk/editors-blog/government-steps-in-as-euro-pandemic-threatens-britain-1/view)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Top Stories:
The management of adult diabetes services in the NHS
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/the-management-of-adult-diabetes-services-in-the-nhs
Making medical tests work for you: offering patients more choice
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/making-medical-tests-work-for-you-offering-patients-more-choice
Impact of day service cuts on people with a learning disability
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/stuck-at-home-the-impact-of-day-service-cuts-on-people-with-a-learning-disability
HSC publishes education, training and workforce planning report
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/hsc-publishes-education-training-and-workforce-planning-report
Macmillan and ramblers join forces to get people walking
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/macmillan-and-the-ramblers-join-forces-to-get-people-walking
New end of life care primary care trust profiles
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/new-end-of-life-care-primary-care-trust-profiles
Supporting dementia workers: case study
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/supporting-dementia-workers-case-study
Leadership and engagement for improvement in the NHS
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/leadership-and-engagement-for-improvement-in-the-nhs
Back pain management: occupational health practice in the NHS
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/back-pain-management-occupational-health-practice-in-the-nhs-in-england-a-national-clinical-audit-2013-round-2
Information strategy to give people more control over their care
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/information-strategy-to-give-people-more-control-over-their-care
Improving life for adults with heart disease
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/adults-living-with-congenital-heart-disease-improving-everyday-life-for-adults-with-congenital-heart-disease
Alive and clicking: information that benefits all
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/alive-and-clicking-information-that-benefits-all
Long-term neurological conditions research initiative
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/long-term-neurological-conditions-research-initiative
AHP Bulletin May 2012
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/ahp-bulletin-may-2012
Race equality in mental health
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/race-equality-in-mental-health
Hypertension in pregnancy
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/hypertension-in-pregnancy
Medication errors affect thousands of diabetes patients every week
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/hospitals-make-nearly-four-thousand-medication-errors-in-one-week-for-inpatients-with-diabetes
Statins 'may even help healthy over-50s'
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/statins-may-even-help-healthy-over-50s
Digital service launched for new parents
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/news/digital-service-launched-for-new-parents
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
New Networks:
NHS Campaigns
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/nhs-networks/nhs-campaigns
This year, the Department of Health has agreed a 'Do Once' approach to campaigns in order to increase effectiveness, reduce duplication and save resources. The Department of Health has prioritied the following national campaigns:
Flu Vaccination
Demand Management
Be Clear on Cancer
Dementia
Patient Safety Dignity and Respect
NHS Hero
This network (currently under development) is intended as a resource for all NHS colleagues who wish to access information and materials relating to these campaigns.
This network has been set up by the Strategic Communications Team at NHS North West.
If you have any queries, please contact Ann Richardson, Communications Officer, NHS North West, at [log in to unmask]
DFE AAC Grant - leads
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/nhs-networks/dfe-aac-grant-leads
this network provides a forum for the DFE AAC Grant regional leads to share information about the progress of their objectives.
Greater Manchester Local Pofessional Network for Pharmacy
http://www.networks.nhs.uk/nhs-networks/greater-manchester-local-pofessional-network-for
This is a network for the pharmacy community in Greater Manchester Cluster. It provides more information about the development of the LPN for Pharmacy in Greater Manchester. It allows sharing of ideas as well as latest information
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
POLLS
Sloshed at any price
Alcohol pricing strategies will have no effect on problem drinking, according to more than two-thirds of people polled last week. 68% of the 236 people who voted think the 50p minimum price for a unit of alcohol introduced in Scotland will not reduce alcohol-related harm.
Holding CCGs to account
The LMC Conference in Liverpool this week voted that GPs should be able to sack CCG boards.Who do you think should hold CCGs to account? Vote now (http://www.networks.nhs.uk/.).
If you feel strongly about issues raised here or about anything else, start a discussion in the NHS Networks forum (http://www.networks.nhs.uk/discussion).
USER SURVEY
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who took the trouble to complete our user survey. We have been delighted by the sheer volume of response and the amount of positive feedback, Nearly 1000 responses have been received and more are rolling in. We have already started digging into the data - and particularly the hundreds of comments about what you do and don't like - to find out what we need to do about it. We plan to close the survey early next week, after which we will analyse the results, share them with members and set to work on the changes you say you want.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NHS Networks is the home of networking in the NHS. It allows communities of interest to form around any issue people feel strongly about whether clinical, managerial, professional or social. Anyone who works for or is closely involved with the NHS can be a member. Joining and forming networks is easy. Our mission is to help the NHS collaborate, share information and nurture new ideas.
FREE WEB SPACE | FORUMS | NEWS | RESOURCES
Find out more at http://www.networks.nhs.uk
You are receiving this email because you're registered for the NHS Networks weekly news in text format.
Click here to unsubscribe - [log in to unmask]">http:[log in to unmask]