Not sure I agree, but if so, then I'd put it into a run-on kind of prose poem format...
I like the way it moves however....
Doug
On 2011-12-05, at 10:13 AM, David Bircumshaw wrote:
> Y'know I think I like the longer lines too (but with required word
> separation). And no medial comma in line one I guess. The shorter lines
> look too much like the kind of thing you used to see in little magazines
> when they existed (I know they still do, but somewhat posthumously)
>
>
> On 5 December 2011 15:23, Dominic Fox <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> for life togetherfor yvonne, for lilafor the end of time
>> convivial as eight-part harmony's irradiantorange and blue-violet
>> dazzling and abandonedas chords of resonancehalo the strident
>> moloch-faced brass statuesuddenly overwhelmed with flowers
>>
>
>
>
> --
> David Joseph Bircumshaw
> "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is
> that none of it has tried to contact us."
> - Calvin & Hobbes
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Douglas Barbour
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