Hi cris I didn't say _emphasise it_ I was vague. I wasn't meaning to be coy. I was speeding up. I wanted to get coffee before they closed etc. The story of a panic What I have in mind is more to do with speed and rhythm. as a coefficient starting with and, the way I hear it. puts the voice on a downhill run, speeds it, pulls it yours beginning _slow_ is more stately and I am interested in going through that rushing I'm prioritising the uttered over the page read L On Tue, November 8, 2011 19:35, cris cheek wrote: > even IF you emphasise it . . the repetition seems redundant > > it's implied? > > > c > > > > On Nov 8, 2011, at 12:10 PM, Lawrence Upton wrote: > > >> depends how you read it >> >> L >> >> >> On Tue, November 8, 2011 17:03, cris cheek wrote: >> >>> i might venture that we don't need that and after the semi-colon >>> >>> just launch into >>> >>> slow broad unripe depths atop . . . >>> >>> >>> x >>> >>> >>> c >>> >>> >>> >>> On Nov 8, 2011, at 11:55 AM, Patrick McManus wrote: >>> >>> >>> >>>> Sundering I sunder sometimes cheers P great stuff >>>> Not sure if we need continuity? (no doubt essential and that I am >>>> missing the whole point!!) >>>> >>>> -----Original Message----- >>>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics >>>> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On >>>> Behalf Of Lawrence Upton >>>> Sent: 08 November 2011 13:12 >>>> To: [log in to unmask] >>>> Subject: The Bar between St Agnes and The Gugh from Wingletang >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> A strong quick fluster of crayon lines >>>> jabbing through into storm waves >>>> >>>> blue wash over grey, and green within both; and slow broad unripe >>>> depths atop drawn stab marks joining rock and rocks tenuously >>>> despite encroaching sea breakers rising moving crabwise >>>> >>>> brown smatterings of weed break up cream and white and dangerous >>>> continuity The Gugh may be solid beyond the east of Agnes >>>> >>>> but it's not whole >>>> >>>> all this a sundering of one into two, and three if sea's a thing >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> ----- >>>> UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton >>>> 42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover >>>> Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4 >>>> wfuk.org.uk/blog ---- >>>> >>> >> >> >> ----- >> UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton >> 42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover >> Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4 >> wfuk.org.uk/blog ---- >> > ----- UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton 42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4 wfuk.org.uk/blog ----