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I enjoyed this piece a lot David . although i would (perhaps) have liked more from the hint of promised rhyme that you set beautifully into play at the outset and throughout the second stanza . still i understand it could have become an unsutainable burden and broken many lines that are simply stand alone wonder . i take particular pleasure from "in steep sunk sleep, a cud of dreams" "this herd had never heard" and "forwards into night-buttoned, carbon," although the syllabics in that latter line could be revised to tighten those places where the eight and six counts break and that's my biggest question (not problem but a question) about the poem? a site-responsive poem . i appreciate that c On Oct 29, 2011, at 10:10 AM, David Bircumshaw wrote: > I don't know whether anyone would like to comment on the following piece but > it is something I've been pushing about recently following a short stay at a > Cistercian monastery guest-lodge. I'm not a Roman Catholic myself, so the > poem has no doctrinal sensitivities or claims: > > > *Monk's Guest House* > > > Some distant schools of stars in swarm > > above a spire, and farm, > > and drowsing cows. All meat and milk > > in steep sunk sleep, a cud of dreams, > > untroubled by the muscled tower's > > electric prod, its bells' peals' starry tongue > > this herd has never heard > > > > since its first day tired. My watch face > > says three and my slow animal wakes > > as the bells' claw and clamber breaks > > the burr and mumble > > of where am I am. Legs and arms, feet > > to hands assemble > > > like lines racing a plough. I snub > > forward into night-buttoned, carbon > > promising air, head down > > toward shell spills of crackle, side > > slips of gravel and a door > > > homed low on a still stone hull > > where a shy > > bay chapel waits > > us and the hushed sparse wash > > > of dark and morning vigil. > > > > > > > -- > David Joseph Bircumshaw > "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is > that none of it has tried to contact us." > - Calvin & Hobbes > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/