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!!!! "Hello Operator, Give me..." --- On Sat, 4/16/11, Halvard Johnson <[log in to unmask]> wrote: From: Halvard Johnson <[log in to unmask]> Subject: Calls Not Completed as Dialed To: [log in to unmask] Date: Saturday, April 16, 2011, 2:32 PM Calls Not Completed as Dialed 1) Not a Working Number The number you have dialed may have (a) gone fishing; (b) suffered cardiac arrest and been taken to the repair shop; (c) been taken hostage, held for random by Somali pirates; (d) declined to answer on the basis of 1st and 5th Amendment rights. 2) Caller Eye D Four-eyes awakens before dawn, releases new data to assembled cats and dogs. Hidden assets revealed as fraudulent declarations. Still worth investigating, however. Four-eyes D clears the mist from its eyes, pursues a vigorous strategy of non-intervention. Windows akimbo, rises to the occasion. Takes the bait. 3) Please Hang Up and Try Again Don’t leave your wife or mother twisting in the wind, replace the receiver in its cradle thereby depressing those two buttons that close the line. Then lift it up, and try again. 4) Unlisted Numbers Often they’re odd, and often they’re even, but even so they’re on nobody’s list unless it’s one of those lists polizei use to trace numbers scrawled on matchbook covers or scrawled in blood on some wall in an alley behind some dive you’d never be caught dead in or alive. 5) Messages Left After the Tone Will be answered in the order in which they were received, and never in reverse order, so be sure that, if you’re having a real emergency, you get your call in early. Either that or call early and often. But if you know the number of the extension you want, dial that now and, chances are, someone may or may not be on hand to reply. 6) Returning Your Call You left me a message to call the other day but the other day came and went without my having time to return your call, which I’m doing now, despite the tone of urgency in your voice, which, for a moment, disturbed me. 7) On Hold Our lines are unusually busy today, and we’re sorry to have to put you on hold. If your call is urgent please select Chopin’s Minute Waltz from the list you are given to choose from. If your call is less pressing choose, perhaps, something by Wagner or maybe Morton Feldman. Then settle in for a listen. Your responses times may, of course, vary. "is there enough silence here for a glass of water" --David Antin Hal Halvard Johnson ================ [log in to unmask] http://sites.google.com/site/halvardjohnson/Home http://entropyandme.blogspot.com http://imageswithoutwords.blogspot.com http://www.hamiltonstone.org <http://www.hamiltonstone.org/> http://sites.google.com/site/vidalocabooks/home <http://www.hamiltonstone.org/> *Mainly Black<https://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1i_JGJ_FqQldEnUq7cwjV8giYykz_tsGbTkC2EkAP3IM&hl=en&pli=1#> , **Obras Públicas<https://sites.google.com/site/vidalocabooks/halvard-johnson-obras-publicas> ; **The Perfection of Mozart's Third Eye and Other Sonnets<http://www.scribd.com/doc/27039868/Halvard-Johnson-THE-PERFECTION-OF-MOZART-S-THIRD-EYE-Other-Sonnets> ;* *Organ Harvest with Entrance of Clones<http://www.amazon.com/Harvest-Entrance-Clones-Halvard-Johnson/dp/0965404390/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1283182804&sr=8-1> ; **Tango Bouquet<https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0ATDp6rzKkBkhZGZwand2cHdfOWc1Mnh3Zw&hl=en> ; **Theory of Harmony<https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://xpressed.wippiespace.com/fall04/theory1.pdf> ; * ***Rapsodie espagnole<https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://xpressed.wippiespace.com/rapsodi.pdf> ; **Guide to the Tokyo Subway<http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Tokyo-Subway-Other-Poems/dp/0971487316/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1283183153&sr=1-3> ; **The Sonnet Project<https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://xpressed.wippiespace.com/hsonnet.pdf> ; * ***G(e)nome <http://xpressed.wippiespace.com/fall03/genome.pdf>; **Winter Journey <http://capa.conncoll.edu/johnson.winter.html>; **Eclipse<http://capa.conncoll.edu/johnson.eclipse.html> ; **The Dance of the Red Swan <http://capa.conncoll.edu/johnson.dance.html>; * *Transparencies & Projections <http://capa.conncoll.edu/johnson.transp.html> *