And, what is the prize on which we should keep our eyes? Well, that has to do with stripping away the whole process of pretending we live in an unemotional, cold, objective, impersonal, intellectual, and professional world. It has to do with bringing to the surface the often shunted frail, fallible, emotional, and social human side of things so much of which, like an iceberg, lies below the surface. It has to do with our real identity as individual human beings. It has to do with seeing that we're feeling and connecting people, and not just thinking people. So, for me, “holy” is an attitude and feeling that uncover the chinks in the armor; it can very often unmask, reveal, confront, threaten, frighten, and maybe even hurt. "Holy" requires initial and courageous steps of releasing and leaving behind. I say courageous because the road ahead is unknown. Standing on the threshold is both frightening and thrilling, hesitating and beckoning. If, however, you can heed the call to be the hero of your own journey, the journey can also release you from a prison and take you on a pilgrimage to a "feel good" place. Trust me, I know. I've been there and I am still on the way. And, what a way it is! It's a way that stirs awe and wonder; it's a path that transforms; it a journey that arouses compassion; it’s a call to action; it weaves connection; it arouses meaning and purpose; it intensifies faith, hope, and love. To come to see each day as a “holy” day, is a "moving journey." It is like a pilgrimage from our surface living into our depths on which we have to be constantly on the go as we struggle to go from a chronicle of "doing-ness" and an inventory of "having-ness" to an understanding of "being-ness." "Holy" asks for honest answers from us to four simple yet profoundly enriching questions: Why am I here? How should I live? How can I make this time rich for me and others? How can I make this a better place? Exploring these four questions can lead to an intense mindfulness, aliveness, alertness, attentiveness, awareness, and otherness. They can give us the strength to lift our real selves out of our apparent selves. They can allow us to soar to a deep level of generosity, purpose, gratitude, service, respect, dignity, satisfaction, significance, fulfillment--and true happiness. As we can do that, we become real persons; and, when we are real people, we can only see real people around us in all their richness. But, that has potential only to the extent we can learn to balance the "primitive" brain with the "new" brain. That high wire act has to do with consciously and explicitly forging the intimate and inseparable and interdependent and interacting processes and skills of thinking, feeling, and connecting--what goes by the names of Cognitive Intelligence, Emotional Intelligence, and Social Intelligence--into an alloy of wholesome oneness. It has to do with the art of "every day" living for all our days.
It's another way of the golden rule: to treat others as we would treat ourselves and have them treat us, to help others, and share what we have. It is a matter of enjoying life, being creative and vital, and being good news for others. The underlying idea is that we are all hot-wired to connect and that another person’s happiness is therefore also our happiness. Now, this is not what some dismissively and destructively ridicule as “new age fuzzies,” "psycho-babble," “self-help dribble,” “touchy-feely nonsense.” It does makes sense. Even more than that, this is the result of the latest brain-based research. In a nutshell, it's what the web of Cognitive, Emotional Social Intelligence is all about: the intertwined processes and skills of knowing yourself, thinking for yourself, being yourself, and giving yourself away to others. It is learning how to ask another set of questions and living the answers: "Who am I to me?" "Who am I to you?" "Who am I to us?" It has to do with realizing that we express and convey our feelings and attitudes not just with our lips, but with our vocal tones, eyes, face, and body as well. So many of us love to discuss cognitive skills, but get so nervous and often defensive when it comes to emotional and social skills. Yet, we're all about an integrated intellectual, emotional, and social journey that goes inward, upward, and outward. Ask Daniel Goleman of Rutgers, Richard Boyartiz of Case Western Reserve, James Fowler of UC San Diego, Nicolas Christakis and Michael Norton of Harvard, Stephen Brown of Michigan, Dale Miller of Stanford, Ed Deci and Richard Ryan of Rochester, Jonathan Haidt of Virginia, Gregory Berns of Emory, and a host of other researchers. They tell us that as we learn about and consciously practice and coordinate all three intelligences with each other, we will find that nothing lights us up more, nothing lights up our brain more, nothing makes us more satisfied, nothing makes us more fulfilled; nothing makes us feel more significant, nothing makes us happier, nothing makes us more productive, than closing the gap between us and others and helping others help themselves. I guess being selfless is very selfish, But, it’s a good selfish. It's a process of "self-forgetfulness." It is a sacred pilgrimage that requires constant inner and outer workouts. But, to reach that destination there's no express bullet train to hop on. In an age of high speed internet and fast moving busy-ness patience, quietitude, reflection, steadfastness, endurance, perseverance, rest and relaxation, and meditation are the way stations on that journey. But, because the journey is unending, you never can stop working on yourself unless you want to stop. So, dedication, steadfastness, endurance, perseverance, and commitment are essential as well. These travels prime our brains to be unconditionally nonjudgmental, respectful, nurturing, and supportive; to be encouraging rather than punitive and threatening, to afford others a sense of purpose and passion, and to allow others to have their voice heard. It puts us high in the clouds and close to the ground. It makes for living a richer, deeper, more authentic, more energized, more alive, and fuller r journey endering of your own life rather someone else's; it makes for a gentler, less anxious, more hopeful, more generous, more loving, more meaningful way of being and living.
Now, what does this have to do with teaching and learning? Think about it; think about it long and hard and deep—today and everyday. And, as you do, as you struggle to learn how to spin a web of cognitive, emotional, and social intelligence, you'll find that you're weaving a pattern of authenticity, respectfulness, significance, and fulfillment. And, then, you will begin creating your own "holy" day each day.
