Well, if I pass the Barrett Reid test, that is, indeed, good. And thinking this re-formed version of the longer original may be the one that I stick to. Cheers, Jill __________________________ Jill Jones [log in to unmask] website: www.jilljones.com.au blog: rubystreet.blogspot.com On 18/02/2011, at 2:43 PM, andrew burke wrote: > I asked an editor in my early insecure days what he looked for in a > poem (it > was Barrett Reid, for those Aussies among us). He replied, 'Surprise > me.' > That's what I like about the cut and thrust of this one, Jill - a > surprise > in every line, but a poetic sense in it all. > > Andrew > > On 18 February 2011 09:46, Stephen Vincent <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > >> Jill, for some probably only yours truly reason, I began to think >> of your >> prosody as a kind of organized dis-assembling, that is seeing it >> asbecoming >> to >> represent, or be the syntax for current upheavals Australian >> cartography! >> Between cyclones and floods - presented to us frequently in TV in >> the USA - >> the >> landscapes and towns are a visual cacophony of multiple breaches, >> collisions, >> etc. It only fits that poetry - the words - as such wd follow, no?? >> >> Similary, One wonders what is happening to syntax through out the >> Mideast, >> too! >> I like what you have done with your own. >> >> Stephen V >> >> >> >> >> ________________________________ >> From: Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> >> To: [log in to unmask] >> Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 3:03:12 PM >> Subject: Re: snap - reformed >> >> Hi Doug, >> >> Thanks. And the line spacing is a weird thing my email does >> sometimes when >> I >> paste in from Word. It wasn't always thus, so not sure why. Because >> I agree >> with >> yr thot and would also think the same if I saw lines with line space >> between. >> >> Cheers, >> Jill >> >> >> __________________________ >> Jill Jones >> [log in to unmask] >> >> website: www.jilljones.com.au >> blog: rubystreet.blogspot.com >> >> On 18/02/2011, at 2:42 AM, Douglas Barbour wrote: >> >>> Talk about sampling: this works terrifically well, Jill. >>> >>> A small question: when I see double spacing (out of Olson etc) I >>> think >> I'm >>> meant to read each line very separately (as if each line were a >>> kind of >> stanza), >>> but it may just be how it appears in the e-mail here? >>> >>> But I loved the swerves... >>> >>> Doug >>> On 2011-02-17, at 12:01 AM, Jill Jones wrote: >>> >>>> Gem/ weird, reforming >>> >>> Douglas Barbour >>> [log in to unmask] >>> >>> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/ >>> http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/ >>> >>> Latest books: >>> Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy) >>> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664 >>> Wednesdays' >>> >> >> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html >>> >>> Language has unmistakably made plain that memory is not an >>> instrument for >>> exploring the past but its theater. It is the medium of past >>> experience, >> just as >>> the earth is the medium in which dead cities lie buried. >>> >>> Walter Benjamin >> > > > > -- > Andrew > http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ > 'Mother Waits for Father Late' republished available at > http://www.picaropress.com/ > http://www.qlrs.com/poem.asp?id=766 > http://frankshome.org/AndrewBurke.html