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A management issue and one that if you can get him to engage with an EAP will help him immensely. He needs to reframe his "new normal" and decide how he wants to handle the next step. CBT or EAP counselling will help him through. There is a "management referral process" to EAP and OH can refer an individual for the counsellor to make the first call out to the individual. It should break the ice and make the first step of action towards a resolution. Paul Roberts From: [log in to unmask] [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of sharon naylor Sent: 22 February 2011 22:20 To: [log in to unmask] Subject: [OCC-HEALTH] another dilemma..... I have a case at the moment. Fairly senior employee (guy1)whose wife had an affair with one of his colleagues (guy2) 5 yrs ago. He went sick (stress) but came back to work. 5 yrs on the ex wife is now living with the guy she had the affair with, the latter has now been promoted to a higher position than guy No1. problem is - we are losing staff hand over fist, operational requirements mean that it may well be that on occasion Guy1 has to report to guy2, highly undesirable but not many ways out of this from a business perspective. Guy 1 has refused to work with Guy 2 on the basis that he just....won`t. This created an operational issue two weeks ago. Guy1 is now saying that requiring him to work with Guy2 is placing him in a position where his health and well being is being compromised, he is citing "stress", the fact that he is being placed in an untenable position, that he is "under the Doctor" (that always makes me secretly smile), that his managers must assure him that he wont have to deal with him. I have every sympathy, but this is the workplace and our backs are against the wall. The following has been offered :- stress risk assessment, flexibility to avoid the situation where possible but this wont always be the case, meetings with both parties to set some ground rules, formal mediation, input to help Guy 1 with his anxiety re the situation, covert warning to Guy2 ( toe the line and behave - dont step out of line), redeployment for guy1 (refused), regrading etc etc. He is now saying that he wont engage with any of this - he just wants a formal arrangement where he doesnt have to engage with his apparent nemesis, as this is now work related stress and it is for the employer to sort it out. His Gp has apparently offered to "come in" to speak to managers about his predicament (unlikely?) Today he has been told - there can be no guarantees that they wont have to engage, the employer will try to be sensitive to his needs but he needs to be professional at work and do what he is paid to do. Am I missing something before it erupts? ******************************** Please remove this footer before replying. OCC-HEALTH ARCHIVES: http://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/occ-health.html CONFERENCES AND STUDY DAYS: http://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/filearea.cgi?LMGT1=OCC-HEALTH ******************************** Please remove this footer before replying. OCC-HEALTH ARCHIVES: http://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/occ-health.html CONFERENCES AND STUDY DAYS: http://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/filearea.cgi?LMGT1=OCC-HEALTH