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Don't be silly, Patrick, I can't afford mustard. On 21 December 2010 08:58, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]>wrote: > David Joseph Bircumshaw is apparently found of adding champagne and > mustard > to his coffee.the secret is out long live Leicester! > > Cheers Patrick besnowed > > -----Original Message----- > From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On > Behalf Of David Bircumshaw > Sent: 20 December 2010 19:32 > To: [log in to unmask] > Subject: Seasonal Greeting's from Frederick of Prussia > > *Frederick the Great's > Christmas Preparation* > > > *Advent Offensive* > > Obtain two large rubber boots (preferably same footed for inconvenience to > the lower orders. See later.) Nota Bene: not Wellingtons. Procure one quart > of rough brandy, preferably from under a Spaniard's nose at breakfast, a > magnum of any Grand Cru champagne, the more expensive the better, and two > bottles of alleged cooking sherry from *Happy Saturdays* off-licence, 95 > Al-Fireis Road, Sneinton, Nottingham, near Sherwood Forest, England. Admire > the social disjunctions. > > > *Sankt Stockade* > > Avoid agitated Spaniard. Prepare one cup of your finest, favourite, > darkest, > ground coffee. Allow to drip meditatively. Scan any possible horizons for > passing galleons, map-makers or magi. Compose tome on the socio-economic > obsolescence of shepherds. Exchange a nod *avec Voltaire*. > > > *Herbst Enfilade* > > Take one large jar of German mustard (obtainable from any local hardware > store or chemists). Paste throughout boots, liberally. Pour in coffee, > brandy, sherry and champagne, in that precise order, order is all, 's exact > precise price, dusting in between with hog hair and sawdust. > > > *Winter Garrison* > > Impress Swabian peasant. March impressed peasant around parade-ground > square > for two months in full battle-gear. *O my bombardier*. Exact price order. > Be > proclaimed among remote provinces. Hunch above maps and dialects. Stalk the > borders of irreverent detail and rumbunctious gazetteers. Deny the > allegations of unnatural stars. Recite the Odes of Anachronism. Upend > Swabian and strain out winter warmer. *Waes thu hael.* > > > > > *(Frederick the Great was apparently found of adding champagne and mustard > to his coffee. I have altered the recipe, as well as other facts, > somewhat.) > * > > > > > > -- > David Joseph Bircumshaw > Website and A Chide's Alphabet > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk > The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/ > -- David Joseph Bircumshaw Website and A Chide's Alphabet http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/