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You point to the flaws you feel might be there, Ken, & I feel somewhat the same way: it's a strong story, but it seems too much story to me; & I dont know what would work for you to break that sense of prose movement, but something of a fragmenting might help. The ending you lead to is powerful: but Miles was surprised by a terrible grace, entry into a world without pain, his thread cut not too soon but in a moment of accident. maybe shorter lines would power it a bit more? & was it 'accident'? Doug On 2-Jun-10, at 9:29 AM, Kenneth Wolman wrote: > VETERINARY (June 25, 2002) Douglas Barbour [log in to unmask] http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/ Latest books: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy) http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664 Wednesdays' http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html because I want to die writing Haiku or, better, long lines, clean and syllabic as knotted bamboo. Yes! Phyllis Webb