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Brilliant! And 2 mentions of Terry Pratchett on RECORDS-MANAGEMENT-UK in one morning must be a record! ;-) Paul Duller wrote: > Dear All, > > Just a little something to bring a smile to your face on this cold > winters day (for those of us in the UK at least!) courtesy of the > Records Management Society. > > The following item in this months RMS Bulletin was penned by Nicola > Franklin ([log in to unmask]) and was the runner up in a > Network of Government Library and Information Specialists (NGLIS) > competition to write an information-related article in the style of a > famous author. > > Nicola chose to write in the style of Terry Pratchett, author of the > Diskworld series, and as you will see - she did a brilliant job! > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Reports, Reports and Records > ==================== > > "What do you mean, we don't know whether we've killed him yet or not?!" > the head of the assassin's guild low but deadly voice cut in to the > conversation. > > "Um, well. you see..." started Griven > > "It's like this." began Sleeth > > "Spit it out one of you - Griven, tell me exactly why we don't know > whether we've fulfilled this contract for our esteemed client Mr > Bellweather" demanded the Guild Master. > > "Right. errm you see young Swafforth was given the job, but then his > mother got taken ill, and then she went and died, so he had to go off, > and now no one knows where he was with things, you should see his desk, > it's a right mess." > > "What about the contract actualisation progress report he should have > filed? > > "Um, well. we can't find it" > > "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND IT!!" When the Guild Master started > shouting, you knew someone's head was about to roll - literally. > > "It's the filing, sir" squeaked Sleeth "it's in a bit of a mess; well no > one really understands the system." > > "So what do you propose doing about it, Sleeth, since you know so much > about it?" > > "Me sir?!" > > "Yes. You." > > "Erm.I suppose we could get a Librarian, like they have at Unseen > University?" > > "Librarians look after books, you idiot, try again" snarled the Guild > Master > > "There must be a name for someone who looks after files, keeps them > tidy, and, well, stuff" said Griven. "maybe I'll ask the Librarian, he > should know" > > "All you'll get out of him is 'ook', you should know that" the Guild > Master shook his head. "Right then, you're appointed Sleeth, you're our > new manager of records of what's happened... no, that's too long a > title. Fine, you can be the records manager." > > Sleeth stared at the Guild Master for a long moment. You could tell his > brain was working feverishly, trying to think of a way out of this > dilemma suddenly thrust upon him. > > "Er" he ventured "but I came to the Guild to learn to be an assassin, sir" > > "Are you questioning my authority, Sleeth?" the Guild Master enquired in > a pleasant, conversational voice, as his eyes narrowed dangerously. > > "NO!!" he shouted. "No, of course not, sir" Sleeth continued in a more > normal voice. > > "Good" said the Guild Master, "now just make sure all those files are > organised by tomorrow lunchtime, and send me Swafforth's contract > actualisation progress report by the end of the day" and he stalked off > down the corridor towards his office. > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > ...after that all I can say is - "Well done Nicola!" > > For this and other exciting records management stories check out the > latest edition of the RMS Bulletin - coming through a letterbox near you > soon. > > See http://www.rms-gb.org.uk/membership for membership details. > > Best wishes to you all for 2009 > > Paul > RMS Chair > > For any technical queries re JISC please email [log in to unmask] > For any content based queries, please email > [log in to unmask] -- ******************* Marieke Guy, Research Officer, UKOLN, University of Bath, BA2 7AY Web site: http://www.ukoln.ac.uk/ Email: [log in to unmask] Phone: 01225 703928 For any technical queries re JISC please email [log in to unmask] For any content based queries, please email [log in to unmask]