Note the new office policy right below! Not
too far fetched!!!
DUE TO
THE CREDIT CRUNCH, THIS IS YOUR NEW
OFFICE
we will assume you are doing well financially and
therefore do not need a raise. so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you
do not need a raise. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to
come to work. They are called Saturdays & Sundays or free days
or rest days. There is nothing you can do for dead friends,
relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is
necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
hour and subsequently leave one hour early. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
toilets. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door
will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be
posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company's mental health policy. We are here to provide a positive employment
experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns,
complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,
contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. _____________________________________________________________________________ |
OCC-HEALTH ARCHIVES: http://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/occ-health.html
CONFERENCES AND STUDY DAYS: http://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/filearea.cgi?LMGT1=OCC-HEALTH
OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH JOBS http://OHJobs.drmaze.net
OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH NURSING EDUCATION http://www.aohne.org.uk