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I'm fully aware of the fallacy of truth equaling best effect, and the misguided notion of 'authentic' expression. they're ideas that belong in adolescence, but even when I started writing at age 14 I never conceived of real events being depicted accurately to be 'poetry' as such. I leaped straight into the fictitious, although nothing real is without fiction and all fiction exists in & through reality. I hope you don't think I'm some sort of slave to reality, when it comes to writing poetry. I never have been, and I don't consider myself a novice in that sort of sense. the idea of her fingers being splayed, or there being some other real moment to inspire the antenna-image, is not the case at all; the whole concept of the antenna & of sonance here was about communication & it includes the idea of a single sound or message on its own *lacking* something, another sound & another message in reply. the poem is meant to be a kind of dialogic portrait of a time or moment or, ok sure, relationship. this is also the 3rd or so edit, and probably the last. I appreciate the advice Judy. :) it's all dearly familiar to me, part of the evolving process, but it's good to be reminded of them by someone else who is aware of them too. KS 2008/9/19 Judy Prince <[log in to unmask]> > K, I don't know what others would think or advise, but I'd suggest your > fictioning sometimes in poems----even, and probably especially, when it > seems so RIGHT to tell it like it was, exactly. > e.g., if your girlfriend was sitting on the roof with fingers splayed or > peaked like antennae, EVEN IF IT'S TRUE, don't try to fit it into any of > your poems. Why? Because it may be not work as well as a nother one > might. > > > 1) You need not hold dearly onto images that come to your mind; they're an > endless family delighted to display themselves to you whenever you wish. > More will come and play----so many you'll have to gently point to the door > and say you need a lunch break....'but do please come again!" > > 2) Most wonderful and important: if you have EVER come up with fine > images, symbols, fresh pairings.....be assured that you will come up with > more, exponentially more. > > You'll be in the 'pruning' stage, cutting off those that look as if they > must've been born for a particular line or stanza or completion of a poem's > sense. Chopping off the image will free you immeasurably. You know that > pruned bushes and trees grow back more lush, green, and tall. When you've > lopped off the 'maybe it'll work' image, what's left isn't a hole, a blank > space now demanding clothing. It's a temptress watching you and knowing > you'll find new ways to see and seduce her---she who must be obeyed---and > whom you will WANT to obey. That's the only requirement: desire. > > Best, > > hon. joodles > > > > 2008/9/18 kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> > > > thanks guys. > > > > Judy-- I'm aware of the literal trip possibility there, but they really > > were > > swallows so the whole idea would be changed if that word were changed. > > also this is about a specific human female person. and while the image of > > some weird antenna-woman is certainly off-putting, that also isn't the > > intended image; it so happened (and this is essentially beside the point, > > but still) that there really was a roof of a 40s apartment building in > > downtown Helsinki that we spent part of an evening on. I also tried to > make > > the 'roof/antenna' image less weird or abstract by grounding it in a > > reference back to the earlier, more 'experiencing' stanza. > > > > Doug-- surprising, because I've hardly read a single word of DT all year. > I > > went through a phase of conscious Thomasisms, but that has long since > > passed; but now you mention it I do see how that influence could be > > construed in this poem. albeit I lack, intentionally, his level of > > structural & rhythmic intentionality. because that would be likely to go > > overboard with anyone except that besotted welshman. > > > > KS > > > > 2008/9/18 Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> > > > > > i think some of the triplets work well, Kasper, but it's a bit too > > > DylanThomasy for me. > > > > > > Doug > > > On 18-Sep-08, at 8:26 AM, kasper salonen wrote: > > > > > > well since you ask, here for now: > > >> http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dfr8jjpv_76g6m2shxj&hl=en > > >> and soon to be found between a front & back cover. eh, as soon as soon > > can > > >> be with the crowd I'm working with on this anthology/collection. > > >> more news as desperation makes way for tittery glee. > > >> > > > > > > Douglas Barbour > > > [log in to unmask] > > > > > > http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/<http://www.ualberta.ca/%7Edbarbour/>< > http://www.ualberta.ca/%7Edbarbour/> > > > > > > Latest books: > > > Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy) > > > http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664 > > > Wednesdays' > > > > > > > > > http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html > > > > > > Language is sound as sense. > > > Music is sound as sound. > > > > > > R. Murray Schafer > > > > > >