 |
 |
K, I don't know what others would think or advise, but I'd suggest your fictioning sometimes in poems----even, and probably especially, when it seems so RIGHT to tell it like it was, exactly. e.g., if your girlfriend was sitting on the roof with fingers splayed or peaked like antennae, EVEN IF IT'S TRUE, don't try to fit it into any of your poems. Why? Because it may be not work as well as a nother one might. 1) You need not hold dearly onto images that come to your mind; they're an endless family delighted to display themselves to you whenever you wish. More will come and play----so many you'll have to gently point to the door and say you need a lunch break....'but do please come again!" 2) Most wonderful and important: if you have EVER come up with fine images, symbols, fresh pairings.....be assured that you will come up with more, exponentially more. You'll be in the 'pruning' stage, cutting off those that look as if they must've been born for a particular line or stanza or completion of a poem's sense. Chopping off the image will free you immeasurably. You know that pruned bushes and trees grow back more lush, green, and tall. When you've lopped off the 'maybe it'll work' image, what's left isn't a hole, a blank space now demanding clothing. It's a temptress watching you and knowing you'll find new ways to see and seduce her---she who must be obeyed---and whom you will WANT to obey. That's the only requirement: desire. Best, hon. joodles 2008/9/18 kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> > thanks guys. > > Judy-- I'm aware of the literal trip possibility there, but they really > were > swallows so the whole idea would be changed if that word were changed. > also this is about a specific human female person. and while the image of > some weird antenna-woman is certainly off-putting, that also isn't the > intended image; it so happened (and this is essentially beside the point, > but still) that there really was a roof of a 40s apartment building in > downtown Helsinki that we spent part of an evening on. I also tried to make > the 'roof/antenna' image less weird or abstract by grounding it in a > reference back to the earlier, more 'experiencing' stanza. > > Doug-- surprising, because I've hardly read a single word of DT all year. I > went through a phase of conscious Thomasisms, but that has long since > passed; but now you mention it I do see how that influence could be > construed in this poem. albeit I lack, intentionally, his level of > structural & rhythmic intentionality. because that would be likely to go > overboard with anyone except that besotted welshman. > > KS > > 2008/9/18 Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> > > > i think some of the triplets work well, Kasper, but it's a bit too > > DylanThomasy for me. > > > > Doug > > On 18-Sep-08, at 8:26 AM, kasper salonen wrote: > > > > well since you ask, here for now: > >> http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dfr8jjpv_76g6m2shxj&hl=en > >> and soon to be found between a front & back cover. eh, as soon as soon > can > >> be with the crowd I'm working with on this anthology/collection. > >> more news as desperation makes way for tittery glee. > >> > > > > Douglas Barbour > > [log in to unmask] > > > > http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/ <http://www.ualberta.ca/%7Edbarbour/> > > > > Latest books: > > Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy) > > http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664 > > Wednesdays' > > > > > http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html > > > > Language is sound as sense. > > Music is sound as sound. > > > > R. Murray Schafer > > >