I certainly haven't felt happy about the second occurrence of 'us' in stz 1, Doug, so I'll think about that. Best Dave 2008/5/6 Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>: > Because I think the 'all' in the 2nd st works so well, i wonder if you can > get it into the first, Dave? I recognize the need for 'we', but wasnt sure > the 'us' in st 1 wouldnt be better if more distanced 9as seen by the them, > of course)... > > Doug > On 5-May-08, at 8:26 AM, David Bircumshaw wrote: > > > > The Prelim. > > > > Douglas Barbour > [log in to unmask] > > http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/ > > Latest books: > Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy) > http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664 > Wednesdays' > > http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html > > Lives devoted to Beauty seldom end well. > > Sir Kenneth Clark > -- David Bircumshaw Website and A Chide's Alphabet http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.bircumshaw/ The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.co.uk