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Thanks for the response, Fred. And sorry to all - I forgot transferring it from Word gave it double spaced lines. Grrrrr - silly me. It's 'hot autumn winds' - March is still a hot month here, and yet it is designated as autumn (fall, to some). But today we have had a sprinkling of rain! still 30+ degrees Celsius. Andrew On 06/03/2008, Frederick Pollack <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "andrew burke" <[log in to unmask]> > To: <[log in to unmask]> > Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2008 9:16 PM > Subject: snap: hope and sandals revised > > > > shuffling yours and hours > > > > you come to a sudden cliff > > > > hot autumn winds make nerves > > > > jumpy and skin erupt > > > > > > > > take the easy way out > > > > and lie down or > > > > walk to the letterbox > > > > in hope and sandals > > > > > > > > today's snail dries out > > > > in the letterbox oven as > > > > the driveway burns your feet > > no news or cheques > > > > > > > > no matter tonight > > > > is the third episode of > > > > that gangland series > > > > just the ticket to > > > > > > > > take your mind off > > > > * > > > > I did dabble with various other endings, but they all seemed contrived. > It > > always wanted to end 'take your mind off' which I like as a single line. > > Any > > thoughts are welcome. > > > > -- > > Andrew > > > I like this very much. "yours and hours" is fresh and unsettling; makes > the > reader attentive, prepared for puns and paradoxes. Which justifies - > barely - the strange "hot autumn," and prepares us for the enjoyable "take > the easy way out / and lie down" and "no news or cheques // no matter." > Only suggestion: drop the word "jumpy." > -- Andrew http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/