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Fine, fine. But I recommend this. One must have a garment that has 32 pockets -- one for each county in Ireland. Here's my kit. And I am glad that I brought it here. *The 32 Pockets of Bertrand O'Toole* Pocket #1: A purse, of the "small change" type formerly carried by misers and presidents of Standard Oil, black, distressed leather, used for holding mechanical moths which when released cry "Help me. Help me, Neighbor!" Used when impersonating Old Scratch and for moments of merriment when attending Board Meetings. Pocket #2: "The Jest Book of the Dead" -- a compendium of jokes guaranteed to crack up the Dead. "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Other Side." &c. Pocket#3: A set of knuckledusters and a scimitar. Pocket#4: A set of cock's wattles. Pocket#5: Devil's Glen Scotch -- for private consumption. Pocket#6: Quizzing glasses Pocket#7: A folding tent for privacy while changing one's bad breeches Pocket#8: My shadow, the Count Chiasimo Pocket#9 A complete "artificial glen" with rocks, and artificial moon , and forester's station. Excellent for achieving the effect of the sublime without going out-of-doors. Pocket#10: A sad Rilkean mirror. Pocket#11: A list off all elements as they should be arranged in benevolent natural order. Pocket#12 My special scents (in silver flasks) -- "Water Frozen by Boredom" -- "Theological Scruples" Pocket#13 Swiss Army Knife with Unix workstation. Pocket #14: An ingenious self-defending peacock Pocket#15: Instructions for completing my tomb. Pocket#16: A Ventroloquist's "Helper" -- Recordings for Divers Occasions, especially cries to put in the mouths of enemies -- "God Bless Captain Vere!" "Les jeux sont faits!" &c Pocket#17: A Little Devil Pocket#18: A tuningfork for snoring Pocket#19: A silk ladder for descending from boudoirs Pocket#20: A bellygun stolen from a crusty old toper. Pocket#21: A set of gingerbread noses. Pocket#22: The star called Childsbottom. Pocket#23: A faded 1860 print of Goethe ascending the Brocken Pocket#24: A shrivelled potato Pocket#25: Instructions for broiling steaks on one's tongue Pocket#26: Begob the Bobwob -- chalk drawing Pocket#27: A basilisk awaiting further orders Pocket#28: A Pocket Guide to the Vilest Bonzes (1879 edition) Pocket#29: Game Ball for the Current Universe Pocket#30: A collection of sock holes -- includes holes from the hose of the Bride of Lammermoor and the Mother of the Maccabees. Pocket#31: Ravishing thoughts and sentimental correspondance Pocket#32: The Royal Academy of Berlin, countless butterflies swarming over a shreiking entablature, Shelley's children, a peanut butter sandwich. On 11/15/07, kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > hee haw. > and bring your snowshoes & a couple quarts of vodka if you're in Finland > > KS > > On 15/11/2007, Halvard Johnson <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > Sonnet: Your Emergency Preparedness Kit > > > > What you'll need in your kit, of course, depends on the kind > > of emergency you plan to have and where you plan to have it. > > If you're in France and plan to have an emergency on the road > > > > be sure to take along a corkscrew, five bottles of wine, three or > > four baguettes, some fine, pungent cheese, and a red and white > > checkered tablecloth. In much of the rest of Europe and in Cali- > > > > fornia, mostly the same. In Latin America, much the same. But > > in Canada be sure to have a charged cell phone, and in the US > > a fistful of credit cards, and your Triple-A card. A six-pack of beer > > > > would be a comfort. In many parts of the world you can rely on > > friendly locals to pull you out of a ditch, give you a push, or carry > > you, your wife and kids off to a nearby clinic or hospital. In case > > > > of serious injuries, it's a good idea to have several units of blood > > for each of you. And in Texas, of course, you're on your own. > > > > > > > > > > Hal > > > > Halvard Johnson > > ================ > > [log in to unmask] > > http://home.earthlink.net/~halvard/index.html > > http://entropyandme.blogspot.com > > http://imageswithoutwords.blogspot.com > > http://www.hamiltonstone.org > > http://home.earthlink.net/~halvard/vidalocabooks.html > > > -- Joseph Green The Pleasant Reviewer Headmaster, St. John Boscoe Laboratory School Switchboard Captain, Hollywood Colonial Hotel All complaints shall be directed to: Camelopard Breathwaite The Fallows, 200 Fifth Avenue, Fredonia City "That's Double Dependability" Brought to you by Zenith Trans-Cosmic Radio