 |
 |
I love the sour inventiveness of this, Frederick. And its dead-on accuracy. jd On 9/2/07, Frederick Pollack <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > Note: "HGTV" is the "House and Garden Network," a cable network that > exclusively broadcasts shows about the sale, purchase, and remodeling of > real estate. "House Hunters" is one of its programs. > > > HGTV > > > The crew from "House Hunters" > won't make him self-conscious: he is *one, buzz-cut, > plug-shaped, fist-faced entity – > what would self-consciousness mean? And on that stretch > of that coast, one needn't > jaw too much about Jesus and waste Sunday mornings, > which can be spent replanking > docks, upgrading systems > at his clubs, fielding complaints > from the properties in his wife's name, consulting > whatever Martinez or Gomez > provides this season's workers, and doing accounts. > Establishing shots – > teak decks with flowers, beach volleyball > (bikinis bouncing), eaters, a hanging swordfish – > are of a paradise he mostly owns, > best seen from the access road at a strictly enforced > (her brother is sheriff) forty. And > his House. But the house they are hunting > > will be the younger son's, > who has proved his usefulness in many ways; > whose biceps extrude like wurst from a sleeveless T; > whose pout (which is not the expression > of one who stands alone) contrasts > with the stolid brother and the brat-becoming- > slut kid-sister. Who are seldom shown. > It is the mother – > a wide blonde version of the boss – > who looms like a sandstone cliff > in background and reaction shots > as the boy repeatedly says that what he wants > in his new house is a game room, > and a weight room, TV room, and room > for his friends to hang out. The father's face > is set in stern bestowal of reward. > Those of the friends, > briefly seen, though they are steadily, gamely > grinning, suggest not victory but loss. > > And they choose – the boy chooses – > the second of three vinyl-sided mansions > in a treeless plain a mile inland. > There's a yard, yards are good; > less pool than Number 1 but more garage > than Number 3 … we see him being judicious. > The mother talks, as women should, > about "nice light." The kid uses > for the eighth time in the program > the term "game room," and, somewhat baldly, > "babe-magnet"; pumps his fist and whoo-hoos. > We see him settling in. > There's a girl, really smart, but the relationship > turns sour. A friend abuses > some privilege, gets kicked out – > though our hero himself breaks things, > lets crap pile up in long weeks working > for the Man. The camera > has long since left him, but the film continues. > -- Joseph Duemer Professor of Humanities Clarkson University [sharpsand.net]