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word strings like "Vacant. Hollow. Wordless." don't hold their water if you ask me. too "empty" or hollow. I also wonder at the second stanza, because this starts on a light note. it feels a bit strained. the loneliness at the end is built quite well, first having referred to hollowness &c. and then to windows & shutters, then to an empty house. it's all ok, but the metaphors feel the same -- empty. I think the poem's voice is kind of strangled because of the short clauses. the 1st & 3rd stanzas I like KS On 27/09/2007, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > The dogs bark > at intruders. > Which everyone is. > Which anyone is. > > I am deflated, > empty even of air. > Vacant. Hollow. > Wordless. > > The sun shines > the goldfinch sings > on the other side > of the window. > > I open the shutters, > close them. What > is on the other side > of this wall? > > I am uninhabited. > Come in. > > -- > > > ~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^= >