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I find it much better. Congratulations for your work. And to Tad, an excellent page. On 8/20/07, Lynda Nash <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > I've just read 'Collaging Poems - by Patti Marshock' (thanks for directing > me there Tad)so, being inqisitive, I had to try some translations. > > I used the poem I posted here, translating it first into French and back > again and then into Spanish and back. What I noticed was it enabled me to > view my own words as if they were new or written by someone else. As > writers we all end up getting too close to our work and this seemed to > help me veiw it in a different light. And it gave me ideas - which was the > object of the excercise! > Whether or not it has helped me write a better poem I don't know but > this is what I ended up with. > > The Sticks and Stones > > Her feet on the sill > she thinks of names for her knees > and mouths them onto the glass. > > They block her view of the children > in the gutter > playing Jackie-Five-Stones > > She smiles simply > and waves > but not at them. > > She wants to know if the latch would look > like a stick upside down, > if only she could push it that far. > > The metal screeches. > The wind catches > > and her hair becomes feathers > her mouth, suddenly a beak, > squawks > > as the children run > empty-handed down the street. >