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Yo, Doug, I join in the praise! Stephen V > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Douglas Barbour" <[log in to unmask]> > To: <[log in to unmask]> > Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 1:20 PM > Subject: delayed SNAP > > >> World full of trouble >> but Planet keeps on >> >> keeping small things >> bird on a wire cheeping >> in bright sun lit >> >> & in their nest upon the hydro >> pole eaglets squall >> hidden still >> grey mother hovering >> >> male's aloof white head >> impervious to cries & traffic noise >> gazing out upon the river >> bridge fields the small >> running food to come >> >> (Grand River, Cambridge Ontario) >> > > > I like this a lot, Doug. Fast rhythm / alliteration in stanza 3, w/ "small" > in last stanza picking up "squall." If I may make 2 suggestions: you don't > need "lit" in st. 2; and in 4, "aloof" = "impervious": how about simply "the > male's white head"? The distinction "World"/"Planet" very nicely poses, > opens the door on, what follows.